My husband and I have a private joke about being middle aged. We refer to it as being "medium". It is quite interesting parenting a 2 year old who is sometimes referred to as my grandson (store clerks! what do they know?), or having one of my little darlings point out to me how much grey hair I have. I was 35 when our oldest was born and she is now 10, so you do the math!! But there is so much good in being medium.
Though there is only a 7.5 year spread between our oldest and our youngest, it is enough time to provide valuable perspective. It is easier now to not sweat the small stuff of parenting because we have seen that it really does not matter. It's easier to identify the important areas that we want to focus on. When I was pregnant with our fifth child I used to rub my big belly and just marvel that I got to do it again at my age. And now when I kneel on the floor next to his toddler bed and watch him sleep, and kiss his soft round toddler cheek, the joy is so intense at times I feel as though my heart will burst! Amazing that we get to experience the joys and challenges of todderhood all over again, even though we are medium!
Sometimes I feel wistful when I look at our wedding photos. I remember that woman, but she is different now. I'll never be that thin again, or that brown-haired again (well, maybe I can accomplish that one! Been thinking about coloring my hair....) or that innocent again. I knew on that day that I loved my husband intensely, but I did not know what the future would hold for us. We have lived 15 years into that future, and it has been both difficult and wonderful. We have experienced deep sorrows and empty pockets and unmet expectations. We have also experienced the height of joy, the contentment that comes with familiarity, and the peace of knowing our home is founded upon the Lord.
Though everyone oohs and aahs over a new bride and her bridegroom, and rightly so, I think I will start making a bigger deal over those who have been married a while and are becoming medium (or perhaps even well done!). They are living out those vows we say so naiively on our wedding day. They are making it work, day in and day out.
So despite the fact that I don't really care for the achey joints, the grey hair, the extra pounds, and the fact that I don't move quite as fast as I used to, I love being medium!! There is sooooo much more to appreciate about life the older I get.
(and to my mom and dad who just celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary, if you're reading this, you are my heros!)
well said P! it leaves me speechless to think about the vows we made on our wedding day. we were CLUELESS what it all REALLY meant.
ReplyDeletethank God He has shown us great mercy and held us together when we were our own worst enemies.
i actually really love being "medium" too. and really i know that's just something else He has accomplished in my life: contentment.
I loved reading this! Although I am not a "medium" yet...I love what you have said about your life and all that you have been shown over the past 10 years of parenting. Very well said! I want to enjoy all of the stages of my life (and the stages of my family) as much as possible...contentment (as votemom pointed out) is such an amazing accomplishment we can get from our God. I am continually striving for that contentment and peace in my own life. I appreciated reading this so much!
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny. Okay, here's what I thought when I met you -- you were in your mid thirties and your hair was frosted. I was trying to reconcile you being in your mid-thirties, having a 10 year old and the story of your courtship with your husband. Now it all makes sense -- you're just 2 years younger than I am. See we would be very good friends if we lived closer. As it is, I'm feeling the urge for a phone call.
ReplyDeleteOh thank you Beth! You really thought I was in my mid thirties??? You are my new best friend!!!!
ReplyDeleteHmmm, maybe I shouldn't color my hair.......