Last night at bedtime I told our daughter that her daddy and I had discussed various privileges/freedoms that she's earned, and that one of them was she would no longer need to ask permission to ride her bike around either of our blocks (the one we're on and the one facing us), only that she tell us where she's going before she leaves. We discussed how important it is to be aware of your surroundings all the time. In other words, don't look just straight ahead. And also how important it is to be as responsible as possible for your own personal safety. It was a very grown up discussion and I could tell G was grateful that we recognized her maturity and that she would now have this freedom her brothers do not yet have.
During our early afternoon recess today, she informed me immediately upon going outside that she was going to ride her bike around our block. I must confess, I prayed the whole time she was gone! An hour later, before coming in for more school, she rode around the other, much bigger block. I sat on the porch and waited for her return.
I want to be good at letting go. I don't want to be a mom that hangs on desperately. But it's painful at times. Not only do these privileges represent a greater potential "risk", as she is physically away from parental protection, but they also represent an emotional seperation. She needs me in such different ways now. It is more complex and challenging to be a support to her as she maneuvers the minefield of puberty, than it was to tie her shoes and kiss away a hurt when she was a toddler. There are times I miss how easy it used to be! But I do love the girl she is and the woman she is becoming. It is a delight and a joy to know her so well, and to watch how she struggles and grows through difficulties.
The changes she is experiencing represent changes for me as a mom too. And I want to embrace those changes and enjoy the newness they bring. I just wish the changes were never painful or hard!!
I feel your pain and fear, dear friend, as I watch my eldest spreading his wings. Okay, that might not be the best way to talk about his learning to drive, but you know what I mean. We both have another opportunity to deepen our faith, don't we?
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Marsha
I had a panic attack while reading this post! "I want to be good at letting go. I don't want to be a mom that hangs on desperately." - I want this too...so badly.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your openness and honesty about this. It really shows how much you love your daughter and really how much you love being a mom. You are a very good mom!
I'm so glad that we can let go a little at a time and that God never lets go of us or our little ones.
We don't really do this yet but that's mainly because the only "block" our son could ride around on our really long street is connected to two very busy streets. But the other day, my Beloved took all four kids down to the park at the end of the street for bike riding (this park goes on for miles and has paths for hike and bike) and one child had a bad attitude and I had to go get him. In his defense, he had a fever of 102 in the morning, so we probably shouldn't have let him go to begin with. Then, when it was time to come home, another child had a bad attitude and staged a sit in at the park, so I had to go get him in the van, too. We passed our eldest and our daughter on the way to meet my Beloved. Today, FM#2 was quizzing the DP about it. "Why were you so far from Daddy?" (He told us to head on home.) "Was FM#1 in charge of looking both ways?" (Yes.) "Did he do a good job?" (Yes.) I was thinking of blogging about the conversation but now I don't have to. Instead, I just filled up your comment section. :-)
ReplyDeleteIsn't this so difficult!?
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Laurie