Most homeschoolers dread this question. Not because they don't have an answer, but because they've been asked it so many times! My standard answer is, "We care very much about socialization, that is one reason we are homeschooling our children! We prefer to be the ones properly socializing them, since we are adults and know better what is appropriate social behavior in a variety of situations."
Let's face it, it is more "natural" for children to learn how to interact with others by observing their parents at the grocery store, at the post office, at the front door with a solicitor, at the gas station, etc....than it is for them to observe 20 or so same age children pushing and shoving on the playground and having a hard time sharing. To me, the socialization that would take place if my children were in a room full of children their same age all day long seems artificial. Plus, our children already know very well how to push and shove and not share!!
For example, the conventional wisdom is to say to children, "don't talk to strangers." But I do not agree with this conventional wisdom. All strangers are not bad. And I talk to strangers all the time. I would rather teach my children WHEN it is okay to talk to strangers and when it is not. They observe me in a variety of settings interacting with people I did not know previously, like store clerks. And even when we pass someone while on a neighborhood walk, if they are with me it is okay for them to smile and say hi. Being civil and engaging in conversation are two different things. This is a subtle difference they are NOT going to learn from other kids their age. They are going to learn this by watching me model it over and over and over again.
As far as learning how to interact with other children, my kids get lots of practice with this right in our own home! And we provide them with other opportunities as well, such as Sunday School class, Awana, soccer, gymnastics, piano (group class), and our homeschool co-op. There are so many classes and groups available to homeschoolers today, it is sometimes challenging to actually stay HOME for school!
So, the bottom line is that most homeschoolers really DO care about socialization, but perhaps not in the way that non-homeschoolers think they do.
With 6 years experience teaching in the public classroom, as well as my friends who have taught are or teaching ps as well, whether they homeschool or not, would all agree that public schooled students socialize too much in the classroom! All they do is talk, talk, talk instead of listening to the teacher or doing the lessons! LOL
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Laurie
Laurie,
ReplyDeleteVery good point! I completely forgot about that part of socialization!
I have heard this question a lot as well and really love the way that you answered it, in particular the modeling part of it when you are out and about.
ReplyDeleteI heard something a few years ago and wondered what your thoughts were. Maybe I already asked you this but I can't remember....
Disclaimer: This is simply a situation that I heard from someone on tv and does not reflect my personal views or opinions. :)
A woman (about 25 or so) that had been homeschooled stated that her parents were very good about getting her involved in activities with other children as an attempt to socialize her. However, she felt like she still lacked many social skills. She blamed it on being put into activities that she enjoyed (home, church, ballet, etc.) and felt like she was never forced to do activities that she didn't enjoy or interact regularly with people that she didn't enjoy; people who were very different from her such as bullies, class clowns, etc. She felt like she didn't learn how to participate and negotiate in places that were uncomfortable for her or with people who were different than her.
I don't believe that your family is like this at all! I was just curious what your thoughts are about this. I could see myself falling into that temptation with my children. How would I get around that?
sorry, maybe I should have e-mailed this!?