This Christmas I have had a unique struggle. Unique because I haven't experienced it before. Reconciling the truth that Christmas is really all about Jesus' birth and desiring to instill that truth in our children, while at the same time creating and/or continuing some fun Christmas traditions. We are keenly aware that we may only have 7 or 8 Christmases left with our oldest and the boys aren't far behind. So we are wanting to make the most of our family traditions and build strong, positive memories for our children. But in the "doing of tradition" we don't want it to take center stage and become what Christmas is all about. Has anyone else wrestled with this and come to a happy reconciliation? If so, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Please know I am NOT saying that traditions are wrong. Many of our traditions revolve around Christ and an active celebration of His birth. But many don't. Some are just fun family things. When I think about Christmas, as a mom, those are usually what enters my mind first. Even though I know the meaning of Christmas goes much deeper than that. When our children are grown and look back on their childhood Christmas memories, what are they going to remember? What are they going to think of? What will mean the most to them? I know that family togetherness will be high on the list (as it should be). But where on the list will be the how of celebrating Christ's birth? How can we engage in the traditions without letting the traditions define Christmas? Maybe we need to start some new traditions that focus more on Christ?
Again, I would love to hear your thoughts!
i hear you.
ReplyDeletei am wrestling a lot with the whole santa thing this year.
we never did santa with the older three. i always told him it was a guy dressed up in a red suit. i always told them it was a made-up story. i also told them that other families let their kids believe in santa so they shouldn't say anything if someone else believed.
it just bugs me. it's so distracting. that's it, in a nutshell i think. DISTRACTING. and of course, the evil one will do everything he can to DISTRACT from us remembering and celebrating a miraculous event that changed EVERYTHING.
lots of my friends 'poo poo' me.
that's ok. even my youngest son wants us to raise the girls believing in santa.
my gut says "no". my heart says "no".
christmas is too amazing. too awesome. too holy.
and satan has distracted us enough.
as far as family traditions to, i think any tradition that melds your family closer and brings joy is a wonderful thing - as long as it's not a distraction.
i'm done ;o)
Oh yes, I've been through this. I think this Christmas in particular put it to the test. We hardly did anything "Christmasy" this year. For one thing the kids are older, though young at heart. They would have loved to have made this or that or gone to this or that. But dd is struggling to keep up with 9th grade work. I am exhausted trying to keep up to help her with what she needs. So she and I don't have a lot of extra free time.
ReplyDeleteOn top of that, we simply weren't in a festive mood this year. We've been sort of down that dh is retiring and he's sent out tons of resumes since Oct and hardly a nibble. I've started cutting back on the extras and setting it aside in the savings account. We ended up picking and choosing from all of those "traditions". Number one for us was the nightly advent candle reading, Scripture, Christmas carols, praying for those on our hearts. If nothing else ever happens for Christmas that will be done. We did a few things, but nothing major or glitzy to brag about. But I think we could all agree it was just as meaningful a Christmas as ever. As long as we do the one activity that helps us to center on Him, anything else is fine.
Blessings,
Laurie
This is so hard! There are so many directions to go in thinking about this.
ReplyDeleteDirection 1:
I feel it may be different for each family really. For our family, I really struggle with focusing on Christian traditions too much. That really sounds (and looks) horrible but in reality it is true. With our jobs, ministry, church activities, Christian school, Christian friends and neighbors, Christian family, not to mention our own dialogues and quiet times and family devotions, etc. I struggle with protecting my kids from being merely cultural Christians and religious people. I really, desperately desire them to be true Christ followers (they are both believers but I think it goes even deeper than that).
Does that make sense?
I want them to love the Lord as their Savior and to personally have a relationship with Him every minute of every day!! I fear that the above mentioned things will cause them to be too familiar or zone out and block out the TRUE and SIMPLE meaning of Christianity.
Christ is definitely the center of our home and lives and I want my children to know the wonders of who He is and what He has done...all year long. We make a HUGE deal about the miracle that happened at Christmas and how it it the basis of our faith (and Easter too) but it is not something that my kids haven't learned or heard already and I fear that if we only participated in Christ-centered traditions then my kids would lose the wonder of it all and there wouldn't be a balance. This is the same for everyday life and while we focus on Christ, we also have a lot of fun.
With that said, I take a little bit of liberty with traditions. We have a lot of family traditions of our own, some passed on from my childhood, and obviously you know that we include Santa.
Direction 2:
I guess the bottom line for me is that Christmas is already defined. It is what it is...Christ's birth. Like our children's birthday...they were born and He was born. Now the celebration (and thankfulness) of that is up to us and can be so full of so many things. If your grandma takes you shopping every year for your birthday, does that define your birthday? No, that is simply how grandma celebrates your birthday. Celebrations can vary but the definition will never change.
I've gone on too much here but it's been really good and helpful to think about these things. I think for me it just has to be a year to year, person to person evaluation of what needs to be taught, focused on, let go, or encouraged. Traditions can't be so important that if you don't do them it ruins Christmas. If that is the case then I would be very concerned. Nothing (again, even in life) should be held that closely in my opinion.
Thanks votemom, Laurie and targetshopper. Very helpful thoughts.
ReplyDeletevotemom: when our oldest was 5 she asked us point blank if santa was real and if he really came down the chimney and brought presents. We had never told her this, she heard it from our culture. We obviously were not going to lie to her! So from the beginning she and all the others have known it's a game that many people like to play, even grown ups, and they shouldn't "ruin the game" for others. So, we don't "do" santa, but we have talked at length about the original St. Nick and don't shy away from pictures of santa or whatever. He's kindof a remote add-on, not at all an integral part of our Christmas. So, all that to say that I'm biased but I think you should go with your gut!
Laurie: I have sensed that this was an academically rigorous year for your oldest and therefore you as well. I know you have been even busier than usual. I was not really in a festive mood this year either, though I think I put on a good show for the kids. I am struggling not to worry about the future as well (our "future" starts in exactly one month), so when I pray for us I will pray for you too!
Targetshopper: loved your thoughts, thanks for sharing! I especially loved your last paragraph about how Christmas has already been defined and the celebrations of it vary from family to family or from year to year, but it always remains Christ's birthday. I also completely understand your desire that your children be solid Christ lovers and Christ followers, because that is my heart's desire as well! How I long for it to be more than the familiar culture they grew up in, but the living breathing core of who they are. Ultimately, of course, that is up to each of the children. But I want to do everything I can to make that an attractive, authentic, longed for thing to them. And I want to NOT do those things that would detract or make it harder for them to completely trust the Lord in all things.
Again, thank you all for sharing!