Planning not to Cry

Today was the baccalaureate service at our church. The graduates represented many different high schools, but all attended our church's high school youth group. They were called up by name, given a gift and a hug from our high school pastor, and sat down again to applause from the congregation. The message was on leaving a legacy ~ focusing on those things which are most important. I was very moved as I watched the graduates down in the first several rows, some of their gowns still wrinkled from being newly taken out of their packages. It seems not so long ago that I graduated, and I remember the mixture of emotions I felt that day. Joy at being DONE (!), sorrow at leaving friends, a little fear of the unknown, thankfulness that this milestone had been reached, and overwhelmingly an excitement about the future and a confidence that God had a special plan for my life and I was about to embark on it.

This particular year, most of the graduates sitting up front are young people I do not know. The ones I do know, I do not know well. And yet, I cried. I cried with joy and hope for them. Cried for their parents who are experiencing bittersweet moments. Cried for their spiritual foundation to be strong. Cried over how fast time goes.

In 6 short years, we will be planning a graduation ceremony for our oldest child. I have been looking forward to it already for quite a while! To plan our own (homeschool) ceremony and include all the elements that we deem most significant seems to me a special treat.

But.

When the time comes, it will be OUR daughter up there. OUR daughter finishing her homeschool journey with us. OUR daughter embarking. Is it as exciting to launch as it is to embark?

I have 6 years to steel myself not to dissolve into a puddle of tears and embarrass our daughter on her special day. Six years to enjoy the daily moments with her solidly in our nest. Six years to disciple her and prepare for the launching.

It seems so short.

I know that day will be here in the blink of an eye.

And when it comes I am planning not to cry.

(too much)