Growing Up

Kids grow up so fast, don't they? We are in a whole new season of growth and change at our house. It was illustrated perfectly for me a couple different times this week.

Last Monday when we went on our field trip to the farm, we parked next to two moms with several small children each. They were fiddling with their double strollers, packing diaper bags and lunch bags in the bottom of it, trying to keep their toddlers nearby, while also strapping a baby into a Snugli carrier on one mom's back. They dutifully sprayed each of their little children with insect repellent. We had to wait for several moments for them to move all their paraphernalia out of the way of our parking space, so I had ample time to watch them. And it hit me. That used to be me. For years that was me!! And I realized as I was pulling in slowly next to them, that I didn't even have the stroller in the van (for the very first time in over 11 years, I kid you not). And insect repellent??? We'd had one frost already, I thought all the mosquitos were long gone (turns out they weren't, but....). No diaper bag. No need to find a quiet place to nurse a baby. No hats to shade little one's eyes. Just me and my kids and the cooler. We just hopped out of our van and started walking, making it to the group meeting point a full 10 minutes ahead of the other moms in the parking lot.

And you know the best part? The best part was not realizing I was in a new stage. The best part was being glad about it! I have had a hard time letting the baby/toddler years go. They were just so sweet for me. And of course I still miss terribly the little ones we lost who would be toddlers now. But God is so good. When I wasn't even paying attention, He quietly opened the seed of contentment in my heart and caused it to bloom. I loved my babies, and I loved my toddlers, but I love my young people even more. It is so exciting and just downright cool to watch them develop into their own unique selves. To have conversations with them that blow my mind. To see God working in their lives, and to see them developing their own relationships with Him apart from me. I am so content to be in this new stage, and so grateful to be content. God is so good!

We have started letting the older kids take turns going in to the pizza store by themselves and buying the pizza for our pizza and movie night on Fridays (with me watching carefully from the van parked directly outside). Our older two children had each had one turn, and last Friday it was finally our 8 year old son L's first turn. While still in the van I gave him the $13 required for two pizzas and an order of bread, and then watched as he carefully folded it and put it in his back pocket, where a wallet would be. Then he oh so slightly swaggered into the pizza place. I watched through the big window as he spoke to the young man behind the counter, and then reached back to retrieve the money from his back pocket. He just looked so grown up, and I could tell that he felt grown up too. He walked back out to the van carrying our dinner with the most incredible look of pride and satisfaction on his face. It was priceless! I let him keep the change. :-)

A similar thing happened yesterday when we stopped at a pet store so daughter G could buy some more bedding for her mice. For the first time ever she went in by herself with her purse, found what she wanted, and completed the transaction on her own while the rest of us waited in the van. Three years ago I could not have imagined this. She was just so hesitant in new situations, and shy around people she didn't know. Actually, come to think of it, those things are still true about her. But she is learning how to handle herself well, even though she is reserved by nature. She is growing up!

And I am growing up too. I am learning that letting go is not quite so scary if I am confident that I've prepared them well. So as we prepare to begin the teen years at our house, I am resolved to focus on the responsibility and joy of preparing them well rather than the perceived pain of letting go. I know that at times letting go will be painful, and at times it will be exhilarating. But it's not about me. It's about them, and helping to ready them and launch them into their futures. That's exciting to be a part of! How thankful I am that I get to be a parent!