Sad News

This is the last place in all the areas of my life that I have not shared this news, mostly because my blog is barely used (or read) anymore, so it was not a high priority.  But there may be a few of you who still connect with me in this way, and for you few I am sorry you may be just learning this.  There is no easy way to say it.  Our little man, our youngest son, died last year in a tragic accident inside our home (not gun related).  It happened in January of 2021, just over a year ago, and I don't think the shock of it has fully worn off yet.  We have been completely devastated, and this has been by far the hardest year of my life.

He had turned 16 just three weeks before he died.  And literally in one night our lives completely changed.  Suddenly my homeschool journey ended.  We were thrust into the post-homeschooling stage of our lives.  We do have two young adult sons still living at home, but they are in and out all the time, so we are virtually empty nesters.  Little Man's death has dramatically changed the nature of my day to day life, and has rocked me to my core like nothing else.

Grief has been my constant companion since that day, and it is a cruel but profound teacher.  Most days, by God's grace, I function well.  But my inner world has been one of turmoil, questions, doubt, fear, anguish, wrestling, crying, on my way to acceptance.  I vascillate between thinking, "I can't believe this is my life now," and "this is my life now, let's see what I can make of it."

Because he was so young, and had so many friends, we made some really intentional choices early on. We had a traditional visitation at a funeral home, which was packed (so those who wanted to and needed to be convinced of his death could see him), and a funeral service at our church, also packed (which was in large part a praise and worship service, and at which three of his family members spoke). We allowed anyone who wanted to, to tuck a note beside him in his casket.  We asked everyone to dress casually, as that was his style. There was lots of flannel!  It was so hard, and so sweet, and so awful, and so good.

To say that God is still good sounds trite, but it is also true.  The ONE sure foundation I am standing on is that this tragic and awful circumstance has not in any way changed the nature or character of God.  His grace astounds me.  He has helped us in so many big and little ways, and continues to gently walk with me through the valley of the shadow of death.  I am deeply, deeply grateful, even though I am deeply, deeply devastated.

I don't know how much I will add to this blog, if at all. It was a fun way for me to log our homeschool days, almost like an online journal of sorts.  Those days are over for me now, and sometimes remembering is painful.  If this turns out to be my last blog entry, I will leave you with these encouragements:  Love your people.  Fiercely.  And trust in Jesus.

Christmas 2019

Sadly, my husband lost his job in October of 2019, and for the rest of the calendar year we had to be especially careful and limiting with our spending.  Normally we get Chinese food for dinner on Christmas Eve, after going to the Christmas Eve service at church.  This year we cooked a meal at home with food that had mostly been given to us!  God's people are so kind and so generous.  I am writing this on January 26, 2020, and my husband still does not have a new job.  We are thankful for each bit of direction God gives us, and each opportunity God brings us.  My husband has had quite a lot of interviews, and continues to have several things in the pipeline, so we are hopeful that a new job will come along soon.

Here we are at our ham and mashed potato Christmas Eve dinner!

As is our tradition, after dinner we read the Christmas story from the Bible.  This year my husband and son L did the honors.

Secret Santa was a great success this year!  Little Man drew his sister's name, and he designed this shirt for her that had HER OWN ART WORK in each letter!  Isn't that cool?!  Perfect, since she is an art teacher.

Daughter G had son L's name, and she designed and drew this fake album cover of his favorite band, "Being as an Ocean."  He absolutely loved it!

Since son G was soon to move out, we gave him his own set of dishes and several kitchen utensils.

Son C with a new sweater.

New switch game for Little Man!

I absolutely loved our tree this year.  I sat like this many an evening, just looking at the lights, and thinking and praying.  I love the Christmas season, and the slow times of reflection it can provide.

Little Man turns 15!

Yes, I can't believe it either!

He seemed pretty excited about his presents.

Especially this one!  Yes, our last child has now gone through driver's ed and is practice driving.  Where did the years go?

He had a bunch of friends over, and they watched "Princess Bride."

Happy birthday, Little Man!  We can't imagine our lives without you!

Fall 2019 - Photo Dump!

 Despite my silence on the blog, we DID do a lot this past fall!  School, of course.  Here Little Man is working on his math.

And reading literature.

Our dog Gucci loves to do school with us!

I am going through "Who is God and can I really know Him?", a worldview curriculum, with Little Man.  We went through it with the older kids when he was a preschooler, and before I pass it on to someone else I wanted to go through it again with him.

Both our boys are in my high school English class at our home school co-op.  I developed a four year cycle of what I would do with my own kids at home, and then offered it as a class at our co-op.  This is our year for "the long and the short of it," two long novels and several short stories.  The novel we spent the entire fall on was the 1600 page book, Les Miserables! Almost every day I could find each of the boys in this type of reading situation.

 Here is my co-op class!

Of course both boys played fall soccer with a homeschool team (fall soccer is when boys play for their school, and spring soccer is when they play either recreational or travel/club soccer).  Early in the season son C was tripped during a game and ended up breaking both bones in his left arm.

Sister G, when we visited her at her apartment one weekend, had to sign his cast!

It was an odd break, and the orthopedic doctor had an MRI done on son C's arm to make sure there was no soft tissue damage.  (there wasn't!)

7 members of our home school team are seniors this year, so we designated one of our game days as "senior day."  We had a special time to honor each one, and to pray over them.

We played a LOT of games that were kindof far away.  Falling asleep on the way home was a common occurrence.

We got to go to the home school National Tournament out of state!  Super fun experience.

Son C (#19) with the ball.

Also this fall we squeezed in two different college visits for our senior.  School #1....

....and school #2.

He would really love to play soccer in college.  We are praying and waiting and trusting that one of these two schools will offer him a spot on their team.

Halloween 2019 - Little Man and his boys small group from church dressed up as the fellowship of the ring!

Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving weekend, when daughter G was home, we went and bought our Christmas tree!

Son C (second from left) at our co-op Christmas party.

First Day of School 2019

This is our last year to have two students left in our home school, but let's not dwell on that, shall we?!  As is our tradition, we went out for breakfast on our first day.  This year it was IHOP!

Then we came home and, per our tradition, made cookie dough maps!  We are picking up where we left off in history last spring, which was at the start of World War II, so we made our maps of Europe.

Little Man was so incredibly patient, outlining each and every European country!

Son C, figuring out which color sprinkles to put on the next country.  He put different colors on each of the major players from WWII.

Son C's map, before....

Little Man's map, before.....

...and after baking!

For all the details on how we make our cookie dough maps, please go here.

Our senior and freshman!