God is Good!

The transmission on our hulk of a van began slipping last Friday, on our way home from co-op. By Sunday morning it was gasping its last breath. We had to drive 20 mph all the way to church and back. We called the shop Monday morning and they confirmed that we shouldn't drive it any more, and that the repair would be close to $2000. It's really not wise to continue pouring money into such an old vehicle, but we are not sure we can qualify for a loan to purchase a newer one (still repairing our whole financial picture from the unemployment). So we've been praying about what to do, and meanwhile the children and I have been car-less.

Today we were offered a loaner minivan for up to 8 weeks while we figure out what to do!!!!

Whoo-hooo!!!! Thank you, God! This relieves the pressure we were feeling to make an immediate decision, and gives us transportation to our weekly commitments. We are so, so, so grateful.

God is good!

So Burdened for Japan....

My heart is so heavy for the people of Japan. I do not watch/listen/read the news in the mornings, usually, but I did learn this morning of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, and can hardly comprehend it. Some of you may not know that I lived and worked in Japan for 2.5 years, a long time ago (pre-marriage). I absolutely fell in love with the country and the people. Most of my friends are located southwest of Sendai and Tokyo, so I am fairly confident of their safety. But I have some missionary friends who live in or near Sendai who I am praying for. And though I did not know most of those affected personally, my heart is heavy for all of them.

Japanese people are very connected to one another, in ways that Americans find hard to fully comprehend. They have a strong national identity, and very deep ties to their own history and ancestry. When one part of the country suffers, truly they all do.

When I have time, I'll dig out some old photos of my time in Japan, scan, and post them. It was a wonderful chapter in my life!

Please, please keep the Japanese people in your prayers.

New Job Starts Today!

Please pray with me that my husband's first day at his new job will go well, and that this will be a smooth and pleasant transition. Thank you!

I am so excited for him. :-)

God is Good

God is so amazing. And good.

We are still waiting on THE job (if that is God's plan for us) but God has provided short term contract work for the friend of a friend. The company is in a town about three hours away, but my husband can do the work from home so he will have a flexible schedule and will be able to continue looking for steady employment and be available for interviews. It will last about 1-2 months if he works full time (longer if he gets a day job and has to go to part time). We are grateful!

In addition to getting the unemployment glitch worked out, we also received a generous grocery store gift card from our sunday school class. After a couple weeks of literally counting pennies, it was a joy to go to the grocery store and buy EVERYTHING on my list! We are grateful.

All of our February bills were or will be paid on time! We are so grateful.

The interview my husband had last week did not result in a job offer, but it was good interviewing experience. We are grateful.

My husband is NOT discouraged!! I am so, so, so, so grateful.

If you would please continue to pray for my foot pain to diminish, I would appreciate that. If you read the post below, you may have noticed that in one form or another we have been dealing with unemployment or underemployment for a long time. It's been somewhat of a theme running through our marriage. So long ago I realized that, at least in our society and in my socio-economic circle, it takes more time to be poor than it does to be wealthy (and I use the word "poor" very loosely, as we are by no stretch of the imagination truly poor!). Cooking from scratch, using raw ingredients rather than packaged, not eating out or getting carry out, making your own laundry detergent, etc. That all takes time. And most of it is time on your FEET.

I am experiencing another flare up where the constant pain is intensified, so being on my feet is just plain hard and something I want to avoid. There are a couple things I can do at home that help a little. Please pray I would be faithful to do those things. I have a plan to see a physical therapist that specializes in feet as soon as we get that first check from the contract job. Please pray with me for insight and wisdom into how to tackle this. And for grace to deal with the pain in the meantime. I have so much more compassion for those who live with constant pain ~ it is very wearing!

But....God is good. :-)

Do you know the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness"? I love these words from the chorus:

"All I have needed thy hand hath provided"

Amen. So true. My heart rejoices in God's faithfulness to provide ALL that I need!

Another Update!

Great news: My husband was able to work out the glitch with unemployment today. It was as we thought, and once they cleared out the "old" account with the judge's ruling, they were able to show us as eligible and enrolled with a "new" account. (ugh - I hate needing unemployment and yet I'm so very thankful for it!) We will get 4 weeks' worth of unemployment benefits all at once in a couple of days!! Grocery store here I come!

More great news: One of the interviews my husband had last week has led to a second interview on Wed at the client's location. Please pray!

Thank you friends! And thank you Lord!

More Good News and a Prayer Request

A couple weeks ago I shared the wonderfully happy news that our mortgage modification was complete. And last week we received MORE good news! Our long standing dispute with the unemployment agency was finally resolved with the judge ruling in our favor!! This ruling means that, according to the unemployment law, the interview my husband turned down a year and a half ago, the one that paid less than half of his previous pay and was for a job he'd never done before, was NOT "suitable work" and therefore we do not have to pay back the unemployment benefits we received after that date. Whoo-hoo!!!!

This was a huge relief to both of us and a big answer to prayer.

The temp agency that offered him the interview still has one month to appeal this ruling, so please pray that they will let it rest. If they choose to appeal, the process would get moved to a different judge in a different location (our state's capitol) and could be drawn out for another long period of time.

This whole process has been a learning experience for us. The unemployment law in our state has been crafted to offer every possible protection to employers, making it harder for employees to milk the system (a good thing). But it has been a bit nerve-wracking for us, with a legitimate case, to realize we have less protection and less recourse. As we waited for the judge's ruling, we both sortof prepared ourselves for the ruling to go against us, and we agreed that we wanted the judge to rule according to the law more than we wanted the ruling to go in our favor. If he had ruled against us, God would have provided the means to pay back the money somehow. BUT... we are thrilled and thankful that he ruled according to the law AND in our favor!

Our bigger request at this time is that the unemployment benefits we are entitled to receive right now have not begun, and we ask that you would pray with us for this glitch to be resolved. God may choose to provide for us through some other means, and that would be great too. I guess just pray that our needs would be met. God knows what they are.

I have felt the prayers of others very powerfully this week, and the Lord has been giving me great peace. Thank you so much for your loving comments, emails and most of all, your prayers! Please continue to pray that I will actively TRUST, and REST in Him.

He is good.

Heavy

For the last couple weeks I have been pondering some heavy things. Some of them too hard to adequately describe with words. It is much easier to post pictures of my children, or the list of books I read last year, than to wrestle with thoughts and words related to heavy topics. It is also much harder to trust and have hope when you're starting from a place of discouragement. But that is when they are most important, no?

While I don't want to wallow in my feelings, I do want to be honest. I am really down right now. How are we going to continue paying the bills without a job? Will my foot (and from the constant limping, now other parts of my body) always hurt? What if something catastrophic were to happen, what would happen to our children? We have been living on the edge for so long, I am just really weary. The stress of our situation has begun to affect me physically. Every single "human" plan we want to have in place for the future, including taking care of health issues, requires money. We were able to accomplish a few things during the last year of employment, but it doesn't seem like "enough."

I hear God asking me, "Pam, do you trust me?" And I answer, "Yes, I trust You. Help me trust You more." And then He says, "if you trust me, then why are you still afraid?" And I am faced with the reality that perhaps I don't really trust Him. Not completely. He, who is fully trustworthy, and loving, and good, the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, He who is full of compassion and mercy, and who has shown Himself to always be faithful ~ how could I not completely trust Him?

I can, of course. And I do. Over and over and over. With scripture, truth words read aloud, heart felt prayers, combined with those of my husband. And now I am asking you to pray also. When the Lord brings me to mind, please pray for perseverance in practicing trust. For peace. For hope rooted in God. For spiritual eyes that keep looking at Jesus and see things as He sees them. I believe this is a spiritual battle, and I must fight it with spiritual weapons. But I also need to do the practical things that will help my body cope with the stress. I appreciate the prayers of my loved ones so much. "Thank you" seems so small. But thank you.

This I know:

God loves me.
He is in control.
Nothing happens in this world that is bigger than He.
He loves my children more than I do.
His nature is faithful. He cannot be unfaithful.
His thoughts and ways are higher than mine.
His plans are for my good.
I am precious to Him. He dances over me with singing.
He is stronger than any evil, any fear, any thought of man.
Because of Jesus' blood, He does not condemn me.
I can draw near to Him.
He is a strong tower.
He is my defense.
His Word is my offense.
He is God and I am not.

And then there were zero....

One of my husband's two part time contract jobs ended today. The other one ends tomorrow.

We knew about the one tomorrow. The one today was a little surprising (thought we had a couple more weeks).

But.....

It didn't surprise the Lord. He knew. If I've learned anything the past two years, it is that God is above and beneath and around and all over the circumstances that make up our daily lives. He is PRESENT and ENGAGED.

I am so thankful that He is here, and that we are His.

Update to the Job Interview Update!

My husband thinks the second interview went well. He was especially thankful that he felt at ease and was able to be himself, and represent himself honestly (tough sometimes to be true to who you are while at the same time trying to sell yourself). So we continue to wait and watch to see what God's plans are!

Thank you for your prayers!

Job Interview Update

The interview yesterday afternoon went well! Thanks so much for your prayers. My husband is the first one they've interviewed, however, so now we wait and pray and trust. He liked the company really well, and all the people he met. He thinks he would like the work too. It would be challenging, but challenging in a good way. They are actually hiring for two positions, a senior developer and a software architect. My hubby would be happy with either one, but is hoping for the architect job, as that is the direction he would like to go career-wise.

Meanwhile he is busily working at his two part time contract jobs (that add up to one full time job). They were supposed to have ended by now, yet he is still working.

We are grateful for the Lord's provision on every level!

Job Interview - Please Pray

My husband has a job interview tomorrow afternoon in a nearby town. This is not for a contract job, but a permanent, direct hire position. Please pray that he would do well during the interview, that if he is the man for this job it would be clear to his interviewers, and that he would quickly get a sense as to whether or not this company would be a good fit for him. He is feeling pressured today to complete work for his two part time jobs, but also wants to spend a significant portion of time preparing for the interview, so please pray for good time management today and tomorrow morning.

With election day tomorrow too (I hope you are all going to VOTE!!), I feel like I should just be in prayer all day!

Devastated

Dear, dear friends of mine learned devastating news yesterday. My heart is broken for them. Such a difficult, sorrowful road God has asked them to walk. I don't get it and I don't like it. It isn't at all what I would choose for them. BUT, I know that God loves them more than they can imagine and I know that God is faithful. I am clinging to this truth and praying they will as well. And when they are too tired to cling any longer, that God would hold them fast to Himself.

Also yesterday the moms in our little homegrown real life co-op met together to plan the writing portion of our co-op for this coming year. My children were so happy to see their co-op friends again! The children swam and laughed and played in the yard all afternoon. It was odd and bittersweet to see their joy and know that at the same time my friends were experiencing such grief.

If the Lord brings them to mind, will you please pray for my friends? Thank you.

Job Interview Today!

UPDATE:

The interview went well, and we should hear by early next week if they want to pursue a face to face interview. Thank you for your prayers!

Original post:

Please pray for my husband who has an interview today at 2:30. Thank you!

Haiti

It has now been over two weeks since the earthquake in Haiti, and it is still hard to wrap my brain around the devastation and the irreversible way life has been forever changed there. I have scoured the internet for "real" news, and have been humbled and heartbroken and encouraged by the stories of hope. Did you hear that a man was pulled alive from the rubble on day 14? There are a couple blogs I stumbled upon that are written by missionaries living in Haiti, and they have really given me a more realistic picture of the way things are and how to pray.

This one is written by the wife/mom of a large non-medical missionary family. She usually posts at least twice a day, and her husband takes the most incredible pictures and writes quick updates throughout the day on twitter. This one is written by an American doctor working in Haiti. This one is written by an American midwife working in Haiti ~ pregnant ladies still go into labor whether there was an earthquake or not! And here is the blog of an adoption worker, whose job just got a whole lot more frustrating. Millions of children were at risk in Haiti before the earthquake. You may have seen news reports of child trafficking in Haiti - such a huge, huge problem. On January 12 thousands and thousands of children literally became orphans overnight. Now they have no adult to care for them and no-one to advocate for them ~ they are incredibly fragile. My mama's heart has wanted to fly down there and scoop up about a dozen of them and bring them home with me! PLEASE PRAY for the people of Haiti, and especially for her children. There are many organizations working to try and keep them safe, but when mass confusion reigns it is a really tough job.

Pray for those working in Haiti, both nationals and foreign relief organizations. Pray for their strength and encouragement. They see the most horrific things everyday. They are still seeing brand new cases - people who have lived with their injuries now for 15 days, as well as those who were treated initially but given no follow up care and now have infections. In the midst of all the suffering, there are so many God stories that are truly incredible. I wish we could hear more of these on the news!

Yes, Definite Success!

Little Man is taking his medicine like a champ, we are so thankful! He is such an independent little thing, we told him that he could drink it all by himself quickly, or we would have to do it for him. He decided that he would rather be in charge of it himself, so he obediently drinks it down in under one minute now! He is still coughing alot and seems to tire and fall apart easily, but otherwise is doing GREAT. No fever. Eating again. Very little pain. Thank you for your prayers for our little man, we are so thankful he is on the mend!

And a special thank you to some dear friends (Amy, Amy, and votemom) for bringing 3 more dinners! I have not had to cook for FOUR NIGHTS IN A ROW!!!! It's a vacation I tell ya. :-)

Trouble with Medicine

We are 14 hours past the pneumonia diagnosis, and already having a huge struggle getting Little Man to take his augmentin. It's white, and every kid knows that white medicine tastes bad. Little Man LOVES tylenol, but of course it's red. And every kid knows that red medicine tastes good! He drank the augmentin with lots of prodding this morning, but after he knew for sure that it was the yucky stuff, he completely balked at the second dose this evening. We tried mixing it with applesauce. No go. We tried mixing it in his juice cup. He got about half of the dose down in half an hour and we called it a night. This medicine was rather pricey and we really don't want to waste much of it, not to mention the fact that he needs full doses each and every time for it to have maximum effect. Tomorrow we are trying it in chocolate pudding. Please pray that he will be a brave boy and learn to take it even though it tastes bad. He did perk up a little bit this evening and it was such a joy to see him actually playing a little bit!

I didn't do much today other than care for Little Man, but I am utterly exhausted. My friend Angela brought us dinner tonight which was a huge blessing, and my husband got our taxes filed electronically (federal) and mailed (state) with 15 minutes to spare, which was another blessing! DONE for another year! I am working to finish a power point presentation tonight for our virtual history co-op in the morning, and then heading to bed. Thank you so much for your calls, emails, comments, and especially prayers for our Little Man. They are so appreciated!

Pneumonia

Little Man somehow caught pneumonia and was definitively diagnosed early this morning. Can I vent for just a moment and say that I hate not having medical insurance! It is agonizing as a parent to weigh medical risk against financial cost. Last evening we could tell that Little Man was clearly uncomfortable. He had had a fairly high fever all day and a cough for several days. He began complaining of pain in his side and then began to hold his breath for several seconds with each breath he took, as if he didn't want to inhale again. I interpreted this to mean that it hurt to inhale, which in fact it did. We nearly took him to the ER last night, but once he fell into a deep sleep his breathing was more normal and we decided to wait and take him to our regular pediatrician this morning (thus saving probably thousands of dollars). They have a radiology department in their building and we were able to get his chest x-rays taken there which clearly showed pneumonia pretty packed in to one lung. It was so packed that the Dr couldn't hear any "rattling" when he listened to his chest with a stethoscope.

Please pray with us that Little Man responds well to his antibiotic, and that the pain in his chest will begin to subside quickly. I am thankful that it is a treatable illness, and that he is no worse off for waiting through the night. He slept in our bed with us last night so that I could monitor his breathing, and I am thankful that he slept well, probably the best of the 3 of us. :-) Right now he is asleep on the couch so I am grabbing a minute to post here for prayer. For the past two days when he is awake he wants to be on me, so I imagine I will be holding and rocking him again soon. Thank you for your prayers!

Prayer Request

***2nd update*** It finally INSTALLED at 1:30 Saturday morning!! Thank you Lord!! Thank you so much, those of you that have been praying. My husband has been struggling with this all week and now, thanks to your prayers, he can get on with the business of programming. He's not sure what finally made it work, he has tinkered and banged around so much it's hard to say just which combination was the winning one. But I'm convinced it was prayer. :-)

***update*** as of 2 PM Friday it has still not installed. Please keep praying!


For my praying blog readers, would you please pray that SQL server will correctly install on my husband's laptop? (SQL is pronounced sequel) He already had SQL server on his computer but it was an older version, and he needs the new version in order to complete a freelance project he is working on (and we have anticipated using his payment from this project to pay April's mortgage!). He cannot do any more work on this project until this software correctly installs, and it has failed nearly a dozen times. My husband has stayed up late too many nights to count, reading notes from other programmers, trouble shooting, uninstalling things and reinstalling. We thought he'd found a break through last night, but alas, it didn't install again. Please pray that it will correctly install soon. Thank you!