Summer Woes and Summer Joys

Our summer got off to a rather blah start. Granted, we ended our school year a full two weeks before the public schools around here, which meant that the neighbor children didn't begin knocking on our door until around 4:00 pm. That was nice for me. I have not shared a lot here about our neighborhood situation (this *is* the internet, after all!) but have shared quite a bit with people in real life. Suffice it to say that a constantly ringing doorbell, peering faces at our front window and back doorwall, little people waiting on our driveway when we get home, children opening the screen door and walking right into our house when the front door was open, things taken out of our garage when the garage door was up, vehicles being played in whenever the windows were down, water hoses being turned on without asking, and more broken Little Tikes toys than I can count have all been part of our recent past.

Since the public schools got out, I have been feeling very emotionally worn. This has been a huge summer woe for me.

It dawned on me a few days ago that I had not established healthy boundaries with the neighbor children. I thought I had, because I had worked so hard at teaching them to respect our property and the rules of our yard. But I had not taught them to respect our TIME. I have never been sure where to draw the line between compassion for them, and family time for us. It was easier to say "no" in the evening, when hubby was home from work, but much harder during the daytime when my children were all outside playing anyway.

Well, the Holy Spirit showed this to me very clearly last week, and I am so thankful! It's like I needed "permission" to say no sometimes, and the freedom that has brought makes me feel like a new woman! On the day we set up our pool, I told the neighbor children that we were going to play in our yard alone. "Today is going to be a family day all day long, but you may come over tomorrow." I had to repeat this a few times when they snuck back into our yard (remember, no fence), but eventually they realized that it was a hard and fast boundary and they stayed away. The next day one little boy asked if they could come and swim in our pool whenever they wanted. In response, I smiled at him gently and said, "do we come over and swim in YOUR pool whenever we want to?" A sheepish grin spread over his face. I then spelled it out so there would be no room for doubt.

I do want to include these precious children in our family life when appropriate, and I want to show God's love to them. I also want some time that is just for our own family to enjoy our yard, when I am not in charge of supervising anyone else's children but my own 5. And I realize now that those two things are not mutually exclusive. Thank you Lord! This is a huge summer joy!

The other thing I realized recently was that I was being way too laid back about the children's chores this summer, and about our overall daily routine. We were kindof free floating. So I tightened up our daily routine a little bit, expecting more from them and instituting an afternoon quiet time. This is also a big summer joy! I *know* that my kids thrive on structure, so why was I not providing it? Summer can still be fun and full of play within the framework of a little structure. This is a good thing. :-)

Last summer we were able to have a helper come and play with the children for about 3 hours one day each week while I did school prep for the upcoming year. This summer that was not in our budget, so I have been torn between the need for uninterrupted time to concentrate on school things, and the need for me to be outside supervising the neighborhood. :-) A summer woe. No wonder I was stressed!

I have now set aside daily time for me to just PLAY, and whole days during the week where I do NOTHING school related, and about an hour each day that I can spend on school prep during the children's afternoon quiet time. All that truly needs to get done will get done slowly and surely. I am a happier, less stressed mommy, and this is spilling over to my family. A big summer joy!

And I put white construction paper half way up on the pretty little skinny windows beside my front door. No more little faces peering at me while I sit at the computer! A little privacy is a great summer joy.