Parenting is not for Wimps

Tough couple of weeks.

Y'all, I am a 50 something year old female.  And I am educating four young men all day long.  MEN. Three of them are teenagers.  The older two are on the cusp of being fully grown men.  They are going through the normal rhythms of growing up, wanting independence, and needing to show some adult sized responsibility.  But they are going through that as men.   When our oldest daughter went through that phase she went through it as a young woman.  I was once a young woman.  Women I get, because I am one.  Going through it with young men is entirely different.

I have really felt the tension these past couple of weeks between what is required of them as my children, and what they want from me (which is basically hands off).  It's tricky knowing how to balance the respect they need as young men who want to figure things out on their own, with still requiring that they get their math done.

And the scope of helping to problem solve with children at very different stages is just really big.  In the last couple of weeks I helped our college daughter weigh the pros and cons of a summer job that would take her away from home much of the time, cried over a teen boy's harsher than anticipated words to me, and comforted our youngest son when he was distraught over the fact that he did not have his own wallet and still kept his allowance in a plastic cup from Caesarland (we went to Target to remedy that situation - problem solved.  Boom!  I wish all problems were so easy to solve!)

I have been pondering a lot, crying some, and praying much about how to parent these young men God has given us.  There are so many things I want them to "own" before they leave our home, but even more than that, I want to keep communication with them open and make sure that as much as it lies with me, our relationships remains strong.  I think the tears have come from a place of hurt, but also a place of fear.  What do I fear?  Poor judgment on their part.  Choices that have bad consequences.  Laziness.  But most of all, the possibility of a broken relationship.

I have very little reason to think any of these things are going to happen.  They simply loom as I feel my older boys beginning to pull away from me.  I recognize that "pulling away" is normal, expected, and even wanted.  Raising strong, independent, thinking adults is what I signed up for when I became a parent.  But going through it with my young men just feels so different.  It's uncomfortable and bittersweet and unknown.  Hence the fear.

However, fear is not of God.  God has been reminding me of what is true.  His Word is true.  And His Word tells me that:

He has not given me a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. (2 Tim. 1:7)

The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me? (Hebrews 13:6)

Do not grow weary in doing good. (2 Thess. 3:13)

and

Trust in the Lord and do good.  (Psalm 37:3)

So, by God's grace, I am trusting Him and doing good.  Doing the next thing.  Caring for my family in a myriad of little daily ways.  He loves my children even more than I do!  What a comfort.  My mother gave me a great word of wisdom last week, and that was to relax and let it be organic.  To depend on God each day to provide opportunities for investment into relationship with my boys, and to just take every opportunity as it comes.  God will provide those because He also wants us to maintain strong, healthy relationships.  What I want and what He wants are the same thing.

Thank you, God, for reminding me of your great love.  Thank you for loving my children even more than I do.  Thank you that they have each professed faith in you and that your spirit lives in them.  Help them to know and depend on you more, and help me to show them what that looks like.  Keep our relationships strong, Lord.  Help each of my children know how much they are loved.  Amen.

Easter 2016

Little Man's 30 second head start on the egg hunt!

New Grill!

About 6 years ago I gave my husband a picture of a new grill for his birthday.  It's what we do when we can't quite afford the real thing.  I always intended to somehow save the money and buy him one for real, but as time went on it just didn't seem to be in the budget.  So a couple years ago I began buying Lowe's gift cards in whatever denomination I could afford at the time, and saving them.  We finally had enough to cover the cost of the grill he wanted, so off he went to the store.  Oh happy day!

Little Man helped him put it together.

We are a bit sentimental, so it was with a small pang that we said farewell to our old grill.  22 years old and still getting the job done, with many repaired or hacked parts to keep it working.  It had been our house warming gift to ourselves when we bought our first home as a married couple.  Lots of memories made with this old grill....

....but now we can make many more with the new one!  My husband is very happy, and that makes ME happy.  :)

The Piano Guys!

Our wonderful piano teacher arranged for any of her piano students who wished to attend a piano guys concert.  The two piano boys in our family (plus myself!) went, and it was AMAZING!

A beautiful, ornate theater, for a funny and meaningful concert.  Super fun evening!

This was the stage right before they came out.  The piano guys are two guys, one a pianist and one a cellist, who love to mash up classical music with modern tunes.  They are also funny, good story tellers, and do a great "straight man, funny man" routine.  It was an incredible evening, and really motivated our piano playing boys!

They were joined on one of their songs by some local student violinists.

If you are not familiar with the piano guys, you can find oodles of songs on You Tube.  Here is a link to one of our favorites, a mash up of "Fight Song" with "Amazing Grace," and set in beautiful Scotland.  Sorry, could not just imbed the whole video right here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOO5qRjVFLw#

End of an Era

Yes, after 9 consecutive years, this was our last official year to participate in the Pinewood Derby. Bittersweet.  Little Man participated in the open class even before he was old enough to do it "for real," and his cars have always been ocean animal themed.  He didn't want to break that streak, so this year he made an octopus car!   Dad helped him with the power tools and made this:

Then there was a couple days of sanding.

And one very late night of painting.

And then it was derby day!

Little Man went out with a bang, as he won overall for best design, and came in second place for SPEED!  (we always focus on design over speed, so this was a big deal)

His winning car and his two trophies.

When we came home he got all his past cars out and "arranged" them for this photo.  Haha!  From left to right, swordfish, eels, octopus, giant squid, and shark.

Way to go Little Man!!

Wordless Wednesday - My view at breakfast

"There is no greater joy than to know that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

My Birthday Week!

Well, we've done a lot of living since last I posted!  I had a birthday, which wouldn't necessarily be noteworthy except my mom came to visit for a week during that time, and she introduced me to the idea of having a whole birth WEEK instead of just a birth DAY.  We went and picked up our college girl so that all my chickies were home AND my mom was here for my birthday - perfection!

When we picked up daughter G we got to see this recent project she had made for her 3D art class.  It had to be geometric, and made from wood.

Out for lunch on my birthday.

We found grafitti alley!

One thing I really wanted to do while my mom was here was to have a fun girl outing.  We went to a pottery painting shop and created together!

This is what I made.  I used my mom's and both my daughter's fingerprints for the leaves.

And after it was fired in the kiln.  I love it!!

 My mother in law and my mother!  Two special ladies.

Brother and sister.....always such a treat to have daughter G home!  (even if they are bonding over her new smart phone)

It was a great week and I felt very celebrated!