My Husband Has a Job!!!

Lots to share, but for now the most important thing is that God has provided us with a new job!

We took a camping vacation recently, and while we were away this interview got set up.  It was with a company we had never heard of before.  They found his resume on a resume/job sharing website that my husband uses, and THEY contacted HIM.  Yay!  So we came home and had a day in between to prep for this interview.

We fished out my husband's old dress shoes, which haven't been worn in years due to "business casual," and I polished them for him and added new laces.  I prayed for my hubby as I worked, and just really put a lot of love into polishing those shoes.

As he was leaving for the interview the next morning I joked with him that people were going to notice his shiny "new" shoes, and they would hire him on the spot!

Well, it wasn't on the spot but they called the following day to offer him the job. :)

Ultimately we know it had nothing to do with his shoes.  It had everything to do with this being God's plan for us.

Our last unemployment was unbelievably hard.  In every way.  We came to within 9 days of losing our home.  Hubby and I regularly went without meals.  Had a dark time of soul searching and doubting.  Just hard.   This time it has been "easy," comparatively speaking.   Both ways, God has been good.  God IS good.

We are so, so grateful.  Rejoice with us!

I didn't know.....

...that on the same day I last posted, June 23, my sweet husband had lost his job and spent the day at the public library, marking time until he could ride the bus home as usual because he didn't want to tell me over the phone.  :(

The company said that they were "reorganizing" his department and his position, along with several others in his department, had been "eliminated."  And just like that we were unemployed again!

I didn't know.  My husband didn't know.  But God knew. And nothing else that I know to be true and real changed that day except my husband's job status.  I am so thankful that God is still God, He is still in control, and His Word is still a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.

We had to spend a few days processing our emotions and grieving, because it was so unexpected and my husband LOVED his job.  I was overwhelmed with sadness for him.  After that period of processing, my husband spent several days re-writing his resume.  That was finished two days ago so his job hunt is now in full swing.

Meanwhile, *I* decided to deep clean and tidy up our "castle" in an effort to encourage my husband (and me!) and to show him appreciation for what his hard work has afforded us.  Our daily life, as you know, is somewhat chaotic.  Hence a lot of little daily chores just don't happen. Our home was in serious need of some tender loving FREE care. :)

I swapped out our two couches and rearranged the family room furniture to make the room seem larger.  In the process I cleaned every nook and cranny, and found new homes for all the junk that had collected in the corners.

Here is one corner of our family room BEFORE:

And the same corner AFTER:

Another corner BEFORE:

And that same corner AFTER:

BEFORE:

And the same corner AFTER:

And finally, the mantel BEFORE:

And AFTER moving things in from another room:

I love the family picture and the great reminder to pray!

 So now I am motivated to keep this deep cleaning and organizing thing going in other rooms in our home.  Sometimes the world beats us down, but home should be a place that comforts and lifts us up. Please pray with us for a new job for my husband soon, and that in the meantime we will wait expectantly, work diligently, and trust faithfully.

Thursday's Thankful Things

Thankful for these friends, and the opportunity to give the mom a special birthday celebration! After taking a few "regular" pics, I told them to make silly faces. Don't they look happy?!


And so thankful for the opportunity we had last week to attend a Purim celebration at a Messianic Jewish congregation. During the service the worship team led us in several parodies of old rock and roll songs ~ with the words changed to reflect the incredible story of Jewish deliverance recorded in the Bible in the book of Esther. They were all songs from the 70's, which my hubby and I recognized. Very fun!! (yes, that is the rabbi in the middle, surrounded by rocksters!)


The entire book of Esther was read, one chapter at a time, and we were to listen for the names of Esther, Mordecai, and Haman. Whenever Esther or Mordecai were mentioned we cheered and clapped, and whenever the evil Haman's name was heard we booed and used noise makers to cover up the mention of his name. It was fun for the children to do, and helped engage them in the reading. Yes, it was kindof fun for us adults too!


The incredibly rich history of the Jewish tradition, coupled with the fulfillment of Scripture in the coming of Messiah, was so very meaningful to me. It was a very special time of worship for me, personally.

I am so thankful to have a dog! "Our" dog has so completely adopted son C as her person, it is very sweet. She follows him around..... you guessed it..... like a puppy dog! (now I understand that phrase perfectly!). Every time he sits down, she jumps up next to him. When he goes to bed, she snuggles in with him. When he bends down to tie his shoes, she jumps on his back!


I am so, so, so, so, so thankful that son G was not seriously injured when his eye connected with the end of a foose ball pole. It doesn't look that bad in this picture, but he lacerated his eyelid all the way through and severed a tear duct. What didn't happen was trauma to the actual eye itself, and his vision is absolutely perfect.


We had a follow up visit with the opthamologist yesterday, and he is healing so well! He has a stent in his tear duct which needs to stay there for about a month, and five teeny tiny stitches in his eyelid, which will dissolve on their own. It was really funny because he had just the one eye dilated during his Dr. appt. We all got creeped out when we looked at him because one pupil was small and one was huge!



We are test driving some vehicles tonight, as we need to replace our hulk of a van. I am thankful that we have several choices to look at, that we can afford a car payment now, and that we actually qualify for a loan! Thank you, God!! (yes, there is hope for financial repair after unemployment!)

God is Good

God is so amazing. And good.

We are still waiting on THE job (if that is God's plan for us) but God has provided short term contract work for the friend of a friend. The company is in a town about three hours away, but my husband can do the work from home so he will have a flexible schedule and will be able to continue looking for steady employment and be available for interviews. It will last about 1-2 months if he works full time (longer if he gets a day job and has to go to part time). We are grateful!

In addition to getting the unemployment glitch worked out, we also received a generous grocery store gift card from our sunday school class. After a couple weeks of literally counting pennies, it was a joy to go to the grocery store and buy EVERYTHING on my list! We are grateful.

All of our February bills were or will be paid on time! We are so grateful.

The interview my husband had last week did not result in a job offer, but it was good interviewing experience. We are grateful.

My husband is NOT discouraged!! I am so, so, so, so grateful.

If you would please continue to pray for my foot pain to diminish, I would appreciate that. If you read the post below, you may have noticed that in one form or another we have been dealing with unemployment or underemployment for a long time. It's been somewhat of a theme running through our marriage. So long ago I realized that, at least in our society and in my socio-economic circle, it takes more time to be poor than it does to be wealthy (and I use the word "poor" very loosely, as we are by no stretch of the imagination truly poor!). Cooking from scratch, using raw ingredients rather than packaged, not eating out or getting carry out, making your own laundry detergent, etc. That all takes time. And most of it is time on your FEET.

I am experiencing another flare up where the constant pain is intensified, so being on my feet is just plain hard and something I want to avoid. There are a couple things I can do at home that help a little. Please pray I would be faithful to do those things. I have a plan to see a physical therapist that specializes in feet as soon as we get that first check from the contract job. Please pray with me for insight and wisdom into how to tackle this. And for grace to deal with the pain in the meantime. I have so much more compassion for those who live with constant pain ~ it is very wearing!

But....God is good. :-)

Do you know the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness"? I love these words from the chorus:

"All I have needed thy hand hath provided"

Amen. So true. My heart rejoices in God's faithfulness to provide ALL that I need!

Another Update!

Great news: My husband was able to work out the glitch with unemployment today. It was as we thought, and once they cleared out the "old" account with the judge's ruling, they were able to show us as eligible and enrolled with a "new" account. (ugh - I hate needing unemployment and yet I'm so very thankful for it!) We will get 4 weeks' worth of unemployment benefits all at once in a couple of days!! Grocery store here I come!

More great news: One of the interviews my husband had last week has led to a second interview on Wed at the client's location. Please pray!

Thank you friends! And thank you Lord!

Job Search Update

This past week my husband had interviews with two different contract companies. They were the fruit of contacts he has been pursuing the last few weeks. Sometimes an interview with a contract company is more of a "meet and greet" type thing, but if they have a specific job in mind that they want to submit you for, it is more like a traditional job interview. One of the interviews was the meet and greet type, and the other was a regular interview. He also had to take a dot.net test for one of the jobs, which he feels went pretty well. Lord willing, one of these opportunities will result in an interview with the actual client and then a job offer.

By God's grace, and your prayers, I am less fearful and much more at peace. Satan was really attacking me with dark "what if" thoughts, and he struck at the things I tend to fear most. Some of those things we can do something about once my husband has another job, and some of them are things that are totally beyond my control and I just have to trust God with them and go ahead and live life. Living fully in each moment, as is my goal for this year. I feel that I have barely scratched the surface of what it means to trust God moment by moment, but I am practicing living in that truth, however feebly, and enjoying His presence.

Living moment by moment is truly what we're doing right now, as we are experiencing a severe cash flow crisis. We have money saved for next month's expenses, and want to keep that set aside for its intended purpose. We thought that unemployment benefits would cover the daily things like groceries and gas for our vehicles, but since benefits have been delayed we are having to get really creative in those departments! We *think* that it's a matter of bureaucratic red tape ~ even though the judge ruled in our favor we don't think the right office has gotten the word that we are once again eligible for benefits. So my husband is going to try and get that straightened out tomorrow. Whatever the issue, it is a small thing to God and He can provide for us with or without the unemployment benefits. He has been doing so already! A check in the mail, a grocery card slipped to us at church. He is faithful, and He is good.

One of our children is really wrestling with fear, so please pray for wisdom as we shepherd him through this time. He is afraid of not having enough to eat, and has begun to try and eat "extra" (sort of like hoarding, only hoard eating). He honestly has not experienced any shortage of food, just a shortage of some of his favorites (there is a difference!). Last night at bedtime we talked about how God provided for the Israelites in the wilderness ~ manna from heaven and even water from a ROCK! That is some pretty dramatic provision! I used that to gently point out to him that we really have nothing to worry about. It was good for me to hear it too. Confirmation from my own lips to my ears, that God loves us, He is in control, life circumstances that happen to us are not random, He is sovereign!

I'm so glad to be in His hands.

More Good News and a Prayer Request

A couple weeks ago I shared the wonderfully happy news that our mortgage modification was complete. And last week we received MORE good news! Our long standing dispute with the unemployment agency was finally resolved with the judge ruling in our favor!! This ruling means that, according to the unemployment law, the interview my husband turned down a year and a half ago, the one that paid less than half of his previous pay and was for a job he'd never done before, was NOT "suitable work" and therefore we do not have to pay back the unemployment benefits we received after that date. Whoo-hoo!!!!

This was a huge relief to both of us and a big answer to prayer.

The temp agency that offered him the interview still has one month to appeal this ruling, so please pray that they will let it rest. If they choose to appeal, the process would get moved to a different judge in a different location (our state's capitol) and could be drawn out for another long period of time.

This whole process has been a learning experience for us. The unemployment law in our state has been crafted to offer every possible protection to employers, making it harder for employees to milk the system (a good thing). But it has been a bit nerve-wracking for us, with a legitimate case, to realize we have less protection and less recourse. As we waited for the judge's ruling, we both sortof prepared ourselves for the ruling to go against us, and we agreed that we wanted the judge to rule according to the law more than we wanted the ruling to go in our favor. If he had ruled against us, God would have provided the means to pay back the money somehow. BUT... we are thrilled and thankful that he ruled according to the law AND in our favor!

Our bigger request at this time is that the unemployment benefits we are entitled to receive right now have not begun, and we ask that you would pray with us for this glitch to be resolved. God may choose to provide for us through some other means, and that would be great too. I guess just pray that our needs would be met. God knows what they are.

I have felt the prayers of others very powerfully this week, and the Lord has been giving me great peace. Thank you so much for your loving comments, emails and most of all, your prayers! Please continue to pray that I will actively TRUST, and REST in Him.

He is good.

Wonderful, wonderful news!

After 15 months and 5 attempts, pages and pages of documents faxed multiple times, and too many hours to count on the phone........

Our mortgage modification is COMPLETE!!!!!

Back payments from the months that we were behind in our mortgage (during the 9 month unemployment a year and a half ago) are no longer hanging over our head, and therefore foreclosure is no longer looming. We are so very grateful.

We came even closer to foreclosure recently than we did during the unemployment itself. The first week in December we received a notice on our door that our home was going to be sold at public auction during the first week in January. Of course, this was published in the paper, as all foreclosure notifications are, so we had realtors contacting us NON STOP trying to get us to short sale our home, unfamiliar cars driving slowly past our house (looking to see if it was worth bidding on), letters from bankruptcy attorneys. It was endless. And disconcerting.

We were in constant contact with our lender and knew that the public auction probably was not really going to happen, so we didn't panic too much, but it would have happened if our modification had not been moving forward. Just before Christmas we learned that the modification was "complete" and our home was taken off public auction. The best Christmas present ever!! But this week we received our copy of the paperwork in the mail making it 100%, certifiably official.

It is very humbling to come close to losing your home. I have such sympathy for those who do. I learned that it really can happen to anyone, despite their best efforts and planning. Financial gurus tell us to have 6 months worth of living expenses saved, but what if 6 months is not enough? What if unexpected medical bills consume all your savings? What if there is simply no work to be found, even though you are a hard worker? I learned that God's grace truly covers all the "what ifs". Every. Single. One. It doesn't exempt us from the hardship, but God gives us hope through the trial.

After doing the happy dance when I saw the paperwork, I had a moment of worry. Now that we are temporarily unemployed again, what if we get behind again? Would God allow us to work through a successful modification only to have us lose the house after all? I don't know what the future holds, but I DO know that God's grace will cover this "what if" too. And I decided not to let worry come to the party! I happy danced away!

Goodbye Old Van (or, what I learned about sacrificial giving)

Today our friend Mr. Ed came and hauled our old van away. Even though we are thrilled with our "new" (to us) van, it was somewhat emotional for the children to say goodbye to the old one, as this is the only vehicle any of them remember. They all had to go sit in it one last time!



Mr. Ed, who kindly loaned us his own van for a month while we were shopping for our new one, is going to try and fix it himself and use it to bless another family who needs transportation.


Sounds great, right?

Of course it is. But sadly, it took me a while to be willing to donate our van in this way. You see, I had been counting on the few hundred dollars we would get for it at a junkyard. I had specific plans for that money. When our van first became unusable last June, I consoled myself with the knowledge that we'd at least be able to pay off "xyz" with the money we'd get for it.

Then one Sunday a few weeks ago, our teaching pastor spoke on sacrificial giving. No problem. Know all about that. During lunch my husband and I had a great talk with the children about what sacrificial giving really is. It's not giving from your plenty. It's giving that costs you something. That's why the widow's offering in Luke 21 was so pleasing to the Lord. Though it was a small amount, even by their standards, it was all she had. So it cost her everything to give it. The children thought up several scenarios of giving that would cost them in some way, and they all seemed to get it, even Little Man!

I left the table feeling satisfied that we'd imparted such a valuable spiritual lesson to the children. Sacrificial giving explained and understood, check.

Obviously it was my turn for the lesson.

The very next day my husband told me about this opportunity to donate our van and have Mr. Ed fix it up for someone else. Generous man that he is, he really wanted to do it. For him, it was a no-brainer. For me, it was painful. I was counting on that money. And then the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, "Pam, this is your chance to sacrifice that which you were anticipating. This is your opportunity to give sacrificially."

Oh how I did not want to do it!

After all the ways God had proven Himself faithful to us over these last two years of unemployment/underemployment, I still wanted to do things my way.

I wrestled. I cried. I went for a long drive.

I drove and I cried and I wrestled until I submitted that old van to God and fully embraced that it was His in the first place, to do with as He willed. I'm ashamed to admit that I even had to go on a long prayer drive over this, but that's the truth.

When I finally submitted to God, a great peace flooded my heart, and I was suddenly eager to give that van away! Think of how it might bless someone else, in the same way we have been blessed so many times!!

And so, with great joy, we said good bye to our old van today. I am excited that it might be given to another family in need (still questionable that it can be fixed, but we're hoping...), and even more than that, grateful for God's patience and tenderness to teach me, again, that His ways are best.


Lord, help me to trust You more.

Updates and Ponderings

With some pictures from last weekend thrown in for the grandparents. :-)

I have been quite sick for the last week with the worst cold I've had in years, so instead of going to the family cottage for the whole weekend we went just for the day last Saturday (big family reunion that day). The pictures were all taken there. I was pretty much catatonic that day, but I think I faked it well with meds and makeup.


Last week we attended the funeral of a dear woman from church who died suddenly. It was a beautiful and very emotional service. She was a quiet woman, very unassuming, genuine, and gracious. She wasn't flamboyant or a woman who sought the spotlight at all, yet she leaves a huge hole that is felt by many. I am so glad she is in heaven with the people she loved most (her Savior Jesus, and her husband who died several years before her), but I really miss her. She was the first person who made me feel welcome at our church, years ago when I was a newlywed and didn't know anyone there. She welcomed me like a member of her own family, and I could tell she meant what she said. I have always been so grateful for that. Through the years her quiet yet confident way often encouraged me.

As I sat at her funeral I found myself wanting to be a better person. Wanting to be content in the roles God has given me to fill. Wanting to be quietly gracious and willing to serve. Lord, help me to be more like her, which was more like You.


My husband has this week and next to work at his current contract job, and then he will be done there. He has been looking hard for a new job and has a few things in the pipeline, but no interviews yet. Please pray with us for a job in God's perfect time, and for the faith we need to trust in God day by day. God knows our needs. He knows we need income to live ~ this is not a news flash for Him! So we can quietly and confidently trust that He *will* provide. But some days are easier than others.


One of the things that was hardest to deal with during our 9 month unemployment last year was feeling "stuck" in so many areas. There were so many ways in which we couldn't move forward because we didn't have the funds to get the one thing that was needed. So we have been pretty intentional the last few weeks in how we have spent our money. Knowing another period of unemployment may be coming up, a part of me has wanted to save every penny. And we have saved. But we've also made purchases that will help us not be "stuck". A new pair of good running shoes for me so I can progress in my 5K training. A huge order of wheat berries so I can bake bread and not have to buy. A new drill so my husband can more easily make home repairs. Filling the pool so the kids have a fun activity for the summer. And we have been able to purchase all the materials needed for next school year, so we won't be stuck in last years' grades! :0)

(cousins, second cousins, and third cousins!)

I am learning that money can be an idol no matter how much or how little you have. If I worship money or if I worry about money, both are drawing my attention away from Jesus. I have been meditating on Matthew 6:25-34 lately. Verse 34 states, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." One translation says, "take no thought for tomorrow". What does this mean for me, a planner by nature? Is planning and preparing bad? Of course not. Proverbs 6 tells us to consider the ant, who stores its provisions during summer when the harvest is good. Obviously preparing for lean times is wise.

But in planning or preparing for tomorrow do I sometimes miss out on the blessings of today?


Can I be so focused on "preparing" that I miss out on "being"? In the moment? Here and now? Lord, help me to live your Word. Help me to focus on what Your Word says, and not what the world says. Even conventional christian wisdom can at times be tradition and not necessarily truth. Help me to live Your Word.


And lastly, our minivan has reached the end of its long and illustrious 14 year lifespan. It let us know in a dramatic fashion that it was no longer safe to drive. We are thankful for God protecting us from a potentially dangerous trip to the cottage, finding out about our minivan the night before our trip (we drove a borrowed van that day instead). Please pray that God would either give us a replacement, or give us the means to get one. Thank you!

Thursday's Thankful Things

As you know, we were unemployed for 9 months last year. In my husband's industry, and in our area, work is very transient. So we may very well be unemployed again. Job or no job, God is good and He always provides for our deepest needs. But it's true there are some things only money can buy. They are not the most important things in life, but right now I really appreciate them. I want to thank God for the things He has given us the money to afford recently.

Flowers. At this time last year we could not afford to buy flowers for our porch. We were struggling to survive. Literally. Flowers were a luxury. This year I was able to invest in some beautiful flowers that give me pure joy just to look at them. Each of the children picked out a few flowers for their very own, and we've had fun planting them!

Airtight food storage buckets. Yes, I am thankful for buckets. During the winter of our unemployment, bugs invaded my wheat berries and dried beans. My husband and I discovered them early in the winter. We picked out as many as we could, and then ground the berries to bake bread, and used the beans anyway. We never told the children. It was simply not an option to throw that food out. We didn't get sick, and perhaps it gave us a little extra protein, who knows? But I really did not want a repeat of that experience. So with the blessing of a paycheck, I was able to buy 3 large buckets with gamma seal lids. They are airtight and watertight, yet very easy to open. Every day when I go to the basement and see those wonderful buckets storing some of our staples, I am thankful!

Clothes. I think I have paid less than $200 for clothing for our 5 children in the last 2 years because we have been the beneficiary of so much used clothing from others. And these are nice clothes! I seriously could not put a price tag on all that we have been given, but I know it would probably number thousands of dollars worth of clothing. How blessed we are! I have also been able to buy a few new tops for myself this spring, and 2 new capri pants for summer. I'm feeling kindof cute these days!

Soccer. I'm so thankful for the ability to pay for soccer, and for the scholarships we have received from our soccer club so we could continue to play when finances were tight. It makes our schedule crazy, but it's a sport that draws us together as a family, everyone in the family enjoys it, my husband is an assistant coach so he gets to do this together with his sons, and the children are learning so many valuable lessons through this sport. Plus we have made some wonderful new friends. Plus it's fun to watch. And I have the reputation of "loud cheerleading parent from the sidelines" to uphold.

The means and ability to fix things. Last year when a bedroom doorknob broke, we had to just leave that door unlatched. When the screendoor ripped, we had to leave it ripped. I know it's a pain sometimes to spend time fixing things, but when you haven't been able to fix anything for awhile, it is a real blessing to have the means to do it!

Field trips. We can pay to go on field trips now! We are all very excited to be going to the zoo tomorrow with our other 3 co-op families. We did enjoy some field trips last year, but they were all of the free variety, such as parks with sprayscapes. And let's face it, the zoo just isn't free. So it's extra fun to be able to go there this year.

There are so many more things I am thankful for. Money comes and money goes. I am learning not to worry so much about the amount we have at any given time, but to always have a grateful heart regardless of our bank account, and to wisely use (and enjoy!) the money we have when we have it, because there will probably come a time again when we don't have much.

Thank you Lord, for all that You give me on a daily basis which is intangible yet so much more important than money. Help me to have a grateful heart. Thank you for all that you have allowed us to buy with the money you've given us. Help us to be wise and careful stewards, and to keep our eyes on You at all times. You are so good, Lord. Thank you for being You.

New Furnace Is Coming!!!!

The long awaited new furnace is going to be installed in the morning! We are SO grateful and excited and happy and thankful and humbled. And did I say excited? Are any of you familiar with that old chorus that says, "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way."? When we literally could not afford to buy a furnace, God provided a way through a loan offered us by dear friends. We are beyond grateful.

Say goodbye to the old, broken furnace.....in a few short hours it will be gone! And take a good look at the laundry room. It will never be this clean again. :-)

Daily Challenges

I am a little discouraged today. Daily life is (still) really challenging. We are VERY thankful for God's faithfulness to us during my husband's unemployment, and VERY thankful that he now has a job. God has been so gracious, and our friends, family, and church family have been so supportive. Truly, the blessings have been, and continue to be, rich and many. But the reality is that my husband getting a job was not the "end" of our journey.

Since his employment:

We have gone around and around in circles with our lender over how to pay back what we owe on our mortgage. We think it's getting worked out and then something changes. That is all still up in the air and we are uncertain about our future in this house.

Our furnace broke beyond repair and we are still in the process of figuring out how to pay for a new one.

Our dishwasher stopped working. Well, it works, but the door that holds the soap in doesn't latch shut so the soap all spills out right away and the dishes don't get clean. Since I was having to re-wash them all anyway, I just stopped using the dishwasher. This means that there are ALWAYS dirty dishes cluttering my kitchen. Always. There usually were some before, but now the piles are bigger.

The broiler in our oven stopped working and now I fear the oven may be going as well. Last Friday it took twice as long for our homemade pizzas to cook, meaning we didn't eat until 7:30! It's hard to plan dinner time when I don't know what time dinner will actually be done.

My dryer is working inefficiently. I am having to dry each load twice.

The struts on my husband's vehicle desperately need to be replaced. He nearly goes airborne over small bumps and something (the tailpipe?) is constantly being hit against the pavement.

We have a set of bad water valves that makes for constant dripping outside, causing our water bill to be high. We thought we'd fixed it ourselves, but it didn't "take".


None of these things is a terribly big deal, but happening all at the same time is a little overwhelming, and the fact that so many appliances are on the fritz makes my daily life at home more challenging. Please pray that my husband and I can keep our eyes on Jesus, that our actions and responses to these problems will glorify the Lord, and that He will help us prioritize what is most important to have fixed first (and provide the funds!). Also, please pray that I would not whine about the appliances but do the extra work with a cheerful heart. I know this would be a great example to my children and a great encouragement to my husband. I just don't feel that cheerful about it. Lord, please give me the grace to choose joy.

Col 3:23 ~ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Phil 4:13 ~ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

James 1:2 ~ Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence.

James 1:12 ~ Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial.

John 14:1 ~ Do not let your hearts be troubled.

2 Cor 4:17, 18 ~ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Col 3:1, 2 ~ Set your hearts on things above.....set your minds on things above, and not on earthly things.

Amen, Lord. Amen.

Rejoice With Us!!

Today we received our first "real" paycheck in 10 months!!!!!

Thank you Lord!

Update on our House

After several phone calls, a complete listing of our income and expenses, and talking to various people who work for our lender, it appears that we have only one option for keeping our home and that is to add about $45 to our monthly mortgage payment for the life of the loan.

While we are thankful to have any option other than foreclosure, we are less than thrilled with this plan. By the end of our loan we will have paid several thousand more dollars to our lender than we would have originally, and since we are still waiting to receive my husband's first paycheck from his new job, we don't know how our monthly cash flow is going to shake out and if we can even afford to tack on $45 more dollars every month. It sounds doable, but we just don't know. Until we have a realistic picture of our new income we are not sure how tight we are going to have to be.

Our request for forbearance, which we made the first week of June, was apparently a dead end. We learned last week that they don't even consider forbearance until a borrower is at least 4 months behind in payments (what????) and that the way they do forbearance is to require payment of the missed months at the end of the forbearance period rather than tacking them on to the end of the loan. For instance, if we had a forbearance for the 6 months between June and December, we would have to pay all 6 months worth of mortgage payments in December. Does that make sense to you?? If someone is having a hard time paying, how on earth are they going to come up with such a large amount of cash?

Our lender is very happy that we qualify for this "assistance" and quite pleased with themselves that they are "willing to work with us." I told my husband that this is not my idea of assistance, nor my definition of what it means to work with someone on a difficult problem. "Working with" implies to me a give and take, back and forth, discussing what each party is willing to sacrifice. Of course, big corporations don't work that way. They are probably thrilled that instead of losing money through foreclosure of our home, they are going to end up making MORE off us! (sorry, my cynic is showing)

So. We ARE thankful that foreclosure can be avoided. But it's a struggle right now to have the right attitude toward our lender. And after coming through 9 months of unemployment, this month has actually been the hardest of all, financially! No paycheck til the end of the month, but no income from unemployment since my husband is working. God has been very gracious and has seen us through (He always does). First paycheck is only 2 days away! Who-hoo!!! But my frame of reference for hearing this news about our mortgage was not the best.

Lord God, you are holy and worthy and unchanging and completely unaffected by the economy. Thank you for being who You are. Please forgive me for my bad attitudes, my lack of trust, and my weakness to worry. Thank you so much for helping us this month, meeting each of our needs. Thank you that we can stay in our home. Please help us as we adjust to a steady income again. Help us to be prudent and wise and careful and generous. Help us to afford this extra monthly expense. Help me to have the right attitude toward our lender, and help me to be the peaceful and spirit filled wife that my husband needs me to be. May You be glorified in this, Father. I love you, Amen.

First Day of the New Job!!

Today was my husband's first day at his new job. It went well. Lots of sitting around waiting for his security codes, the right software for his work computer, etc. Like first days often are in his line of work. But he got PAID to sit around and wait!! Thank you, Lord. He thinks he is going to like the work and the people. The environment is rather "union" in practice. Starting at 7:15 each morning, taking breaks at specified times, ending at 4:00 each day. Period. No flexibility with the hours.

Are you laughing yet?

If you know us, you know we are pretty big night owls. In order to be there at 7:15 this morning, my husband had to leave the house at 6:15. Which meant getting up at 5:30. Which meant going to bed at 10:30 last night. A complete paradigm shift for us! In an effort to support him, I intend to keep the same schedule. Once we make the adjustment, I think I am going to LOVE this imposed schedule! God has a sense of humor, and He also knows what is BEST for us. And He chose THIS job for my husband. Hmmm........ :-)

I got tons of stuff done in a quiet house this morning. Thank you Lord.

My husband made it to soccer practice where he is an assistant coach, no problem. Thank you Lord.

And he was home for dinner on time and we sat down together as a family. Thank you Lord.

THANK-YOU for his job!!

(now don't call me or expect an email response after 10:00 P.M.) ;-)

It's always the little things, isn't it?

Or more accurately, it's quite often the little things. My little things this week were preceeded by a big thing. During our time in WA we were given a large sum of money by a dear and well loved relative (she was dear and well loved before she gave us the money!). This enabled us to pay off 2 months of our back mortgage payments, pay another large bill that was overdue, and have a little left over. When we got the news of my husband's job offer, after we whooped and hollered and did several happy dances, I went out and bought some flowers to celebrate.

Now you may think that buying flowers is rather a strange way to celebrate a new job. Not buying flowers was one of my personal hardships this spring and summer. I love flowers and I love flowering up my front porch and using it as my own personal retreat. I typically spend quite a bit of time during the summer on my porch. This year I just could not buy any flowers. I did buy seeds for the vegetable garden, but that was it. We needed to eat more than I needed my personal retreat on the porch, but my soul really missed it. So it was with great joy that I headed off to the flower store where I bought two large pots of mixed flowers at halfprice (because it is, after all, nearing the end of summer and fall mums will be out soon!) and set them on my porch.

This one is just a transplanted "lamb's ear" from another place in my yard......



...but this one, oh! Does it not make you happy just looking at it?!


And happy little people enjoying the porch is even better!

The other small thing I did was go to Sam's Club and buy every.single.item.on.my.list, which is something I have not done for 9 months. That also made me very happy. :-)

Thanks be to God for the big and small things!

My Husband Got a Job Today!!!!

After almost 9 very long and trying months, my husband was offered a job today!

We are beyond thrilled and humbled, and just very, very excited.

We also have mixed emotions, because a "yes" to us also means that today several others are hearing "no". In many ways this trial changed us. We have learned to depend on the Lord in new ways, we have been stripped of so many of our dependencies and facades. We have been broken in order to be remade. And I want to be remade into something new and different. I don't want to go back to the old me. Will having a job cause me to depend less on the Lord and more on my husband's paycheck? That tendency will be so hard to resist. Lord, help me.

But under and over and around it all, we are profoundly grateful to our loving God. Rejoice with us!

Father God, thank you for this amazing display of your provision today. We are so very grateful to You for all You have done for us! Please help us to keep our eyes fixed on you, even during the good times of employment, when it *appears* that we don't need You as much. Lord, we know that is a lie. We utterly and completely depend on You for everything. Keep us close to You and help us to walk in step with Your Spirit. We are so humbled that out of all the jobs my husband could have gotten these last 9 months, You chose THIS one for him. Make him a blessing to those around him in his place of work. Use this job in his life, to continue molding him into the man You want him to be. Thank you for your direction and your love and the grace You give to live each day. We love you, Amen.

And singing again!!!

My husband gets to come to Washington with us in a couple weeks!!!!! He was given a frequent flier ticket. So he will be flying separately from us and returning home earlier than us, but he will BE THERE! And we will be ALL together with my ancestrals for a WEEK! I am so excited!

Thank you, Lord. You know how much my husband needs a change of scenery and a break from the constant pressure of the job search. Please use this time to recharge his batteries in every way. Help him to be refreshed in body, mind, and spirit, and give him the daily courage and strength he needs to face the turmoil without and the turmoil within. Keep his mind focused on TRUTH. What a gift this ticket is. Thank you. I love you, Lord.

Another Bend in the Road

Our family loves road trips. We love being together in the van, having funny and sometimes revealing conversations, listening to music and Adventures in Odyssey CD's for hours on end. There are so many interesting things to see from the car window, especially if we take back roads. When we are planning a big road trip we always try to map out our traveling days so we know how far we have to go each day and where we are going to sleep each night before moving on. Despite this planning we have been surprised many times by detours caused by construction, or a backup which delayed us. Though the experience of these detours and delays hasn't always been enjoyable, they certainly make the road trip more interesting! And never once have we failed to arrive at our destination.

So it is with our unemployment journey. The experience of being unemployed or underemployed has not always been very pleasant, but the journey itself has been rich in many ways. And I'm so glad God sees our destination and is guiding us there, aren't you?

We learned of another bend in the road earlier this week when my husband was told he was being laid off from his part time temp job due to a cash flow crunch. Friday was his last day. The company hopes to hire him back after the 4th of July but that remains to be seen, and since the job was not paying all our bills anyway we are thankful for this opportunity hubby will have to spend more time looking for a full time job. God saw this coming and was not at all surprised by it. In fact, He allowed it. He is not done sifting us, or refining us, or driving us to our destination (whatever metaphor you want to use). He is God, who loves us and knows exactly what we need in order to be made more Christ-like. And I am not God, and I don't know what we need (even though often I think I do!).

From an earthly perspective this is a really bad thing. But from a heavenly perspective this is not even a blip. And by God's grace I am completely at peace. It has taken months for God to chip through my defenses, my fears and priorities, and my need for control, but I am completely at peace with God being in charge of this journey. Finally, I can acknowledge that He is the One driving (and really mean it) and I can sit back and enjoy the scenery and the detours that He navigates us through. For those of you who have been praying for me since writing this post, thank you! God is answering those prayers abundantly.

My husband has already updated and re-posted his resume on Monster.com, and has had several responses. He has an interview next Tuesday for a local job, and he has applied for one out of state at a company that looks like it would be a good fit for him. Our first choice is still to stay here, but we are willing to go wherever God takes us. We are not the drivers, remember?!

Please continue to pray with us for a full time job that can fully support our family, for God to lead and direct us clearly, and for continued peace as we trust Him with the details of this road trip. Thank you friends!