Life is Hard, but God is good

I was going to write an "our week in review" post today, but I just don't have the energy. Actually I don't really have the energy to write this post either, but it has been kicking around in my head for a couple weeks now and decided that this was the time to come out.

I am really tired of being un/under employed.

There have been many high points in the midst of this journey, and many rather dramatic instances of God's love and faithfulness (the unemployment blessings have been many!). I have had many days in a row, weeks even, where God's peace just enveloped me and I felt His love whispered over me and sometimes proclaimed loudly! It has not been all bad. In fact, in many ways it has been very good. But it has still been hard.

God's presence with us, and the hope we have in Him makes this journey bearable, but we still have to walk it. It is wearing to question every single purchase, make plans for the future with no guarantee of income, cook dinner every.single.night, and spend anxious moments wondering whether you or your child is truly sick enough to warrant a $93 Dr's office visit. It is stressful to wonder how you are going to pay for braces when you can't even afford the dental cleaning, what you are going to do when the van finally gets to the end of its slow, painful death, and hope that nothing has grown in your breast because you are overdue for your mammogram. It's painful to the core to worry about your husband's self esteem in the face of so much disappointment and seeming rejection.

I feel like all the weeks that God carried us on waves of His amazing provision and demonstrations of love, have been to prepare me for this time. This time of being weary. Of being worn. Will I trust Him now? Now when I don't feel like it? When there seems to be no end in sight? When thousands more people in our metro area are still, this week and next, losing their jobs? When all the news reports sound dire? Will I trust Him now? Today?

Yes, I will. And why will I trust Him?

Because He has not changed. He is the same God He has always been and will always be. His character does not change just because my feelings do. His faithfulness and truth do not change just because our situation does. He is unchanging. Unchanging! Isn't that marvelous? His essence is not affected by the economic downturn. By bankruptcy or foreclosure or debt. He is not limited by a fixed income or finite resources. He is BIG! He is God! And He loves me! I simply cannot begin to comprehend this, but this truth has changed my life.

The God of the Bible is the same God who is holding us in His hands right now. He may allow hard things, but He goes through them with us. He is not incapable. Not sleeping. Not busy elsewhere, leaving us to fend for ourselves. He is here! WITH us. Even when I feel hopeless, lose faith, and have a yucky attitude, He stays with me because He loves me. How can I not trust love like that?

So. I have no idea how long this will last, and frankly I don't think about it. I have been in survival mode for a long time. One day at a time. But it really doesn't matter how long this lasts, because God is with me. And the bottom line is, that's all that matters. Life is hard, but God is good.

"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world!" ~ John 16:33

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, 'the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' " ~ Hebrews 13:5-6