Update

Our tree is OUT of the house. Needles are vacuumed up. Yippee!!! The ornaments are all on a card table in the family room waiting to be packed away, but already that room looks so much bigger without the tree. I do love a beautiful Christmas tree, but there comes a time when it just needs to come down.

We start school tomorrow. I finished a big scheduling project this afternoon (more on that in another post) that I think will help to keep ME on track throughout the day. I am excited to get back into our routine. Everything starts back up this week: piano, MOPS, Awana, youth group, virtual co-op, real life co-op, tutoring. Everything except Tae Kwon Do. It will be busy.

I am more than a month overdue in getting my gray roots colored. I cannot justify the expense right now, but I am sorta depressed about the prospect of having to go back to gray. I have been coloring for a year and a half now and I'm sure in that time my "natural" color has become even more gray than before. Fortunately I am tall and I have curly hair, both of which help to hide the gray. If you know me in real life please pretend you don't see it, or better yet, tell me my hair looks fabulous!! :-)

Still no job for my hubby. I'm going to be really transparent here and say that I am depressed about that too. I want to have the faith of a spiritual giant, but right now I feel like a spiritual wimp. I have so much to be thankful for that I hate to whine about it, but I am really afraid of losing the house. I don't want to be one of the statistics that we hear about on the evening news. I don't want to have to live with my mother in law (though I love her very much) or stop homeschooling to go to work, or any number of awful scenarios I have imagined. I am so tired of weighing every single purchase. I'm tired of not being able to afford something one of the children needs. I'm sad that we probably won't be able to go "home" and visit my parents this summer. It has been 3 years since we've been back to my ancestral and I was so looking forward to it. And worst of all I feel terribly guilty for having these feelings. So. Please pray for me. My attitude sets the tone for the whole family, and I simply must live out the faith that I profess to have, now more than ever. I am painfully aware of my own weakness and inadequacy, so any peace or trust or faith that is evidenced in my life is COMPLETELY the Lord. I need to have another good long prayer time, but part of me is afraid of voicing everything I fear, even to the Lord. Isn't that weird?

Our son who lives with SPD got very frustrated with one of his brothers this afternoon and you know what he did? He stormed upstairs, banged his door shut, and sat on his bed for awhile. I was so proud of him!!!!! This time last year he would have hauled off and hit the offending brother. He is slowly learning to remove himself from the frustrating situation and find a place to cool off. I told him that I noticed he was growing in self control. That made him feel very good. Thank you Lord.