My husband and I discussed last week the possibility of him actively pursuing jobs out of state. We are apparently no closer to him being employed than we were 3 months ago (of course, nothing is impossible with God!) and I think we need to be prepared for the possibility of moving. I am trying to think positively about this. New place, new people, new experiences, hopefully lower cost of living, etc, etc, etc. All good things. But each of those things means saying goodbye to something here. And I am completely, absolutely, entirely, incredibly overwhelmed at the prospect of getting ready to move. Our house is not ready to sell. Nowhere close. Nothing major to be done, but lots and lots of small things that add up to money and tons of time. We also would have to majorly purge first. I don't even know where to start with that. And in order to have our home "show" ready, I'd have to put away so many things we use for homeschooling. Really, who wants to see a schoolroom when they walk into their prospective kitchen? But how do I homeschool without our schoolroom? WHERE do I put all our daily stuff??
I love our living room/dining room. It's the prettiest area of our home. My beautiful drapes were custom made for me by my friend Susan. My friend Sally picked out the paint color which I still LOVE. My husband refinished the hardwood floor himself. Three of my babies learned to walk in this room, behind a little push toy. Our Thomas track has been elaborately set up on this floor literally hundreds of times. We have had large family gatherings in this dining room every Thanksgiving for the last 8 years, and so many friends gathered around our table for birthday parties and tea parties and just plain old pizza fellowship. So many memories in this house. I love our house! My heart does not want to go.
My head knows all the right answers. And my heart will get there. But right now I'm sad at the thought of leaving, and just plain overwhelmed. Our Sunday School teachers said something yesterday that stood out to me for our situation right now, "prepare to go, but be willing to stay". I think that's what I need to do, but I hardly know where to start. Maybe start spending 30 minutes a day purging? That would be good for us, whether we end up staying or moving.
It is hard at times not to presume to know what's best, but the bottom line is that only God knows what is best for us. We are leaning into Him, and trusting Him to help us take the steps He wants us to take. Please pray especially for my husband as he strives to discern God's will amidst competing voices.
Lord, we are so grateful for You! Thank you that You love us and have a plan for our family. Please show us what the next step is. Speak your direction to my husband's heart and mind. Help me to be supportive of whatever that direction is, regardless of my changing emotions. We don't want to rush ahead of You and we don't want to lag behind. Help us to walk IN STEP. Thank you so much for your gentle, tender patience, and your faithfulness to us. We love you. Amen.
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7 comments:
Wow, P! This is a BIG one. I don't know what to say--except that the best we can do is pray! So, I'll be praying for you all as you dicern what is best for your family. If you need help purging stuff and organizing, let me know...it is one of my favorite things to do!
Well, you know that I am in the midst of this right now! =) I am experiencing every one of those feelings. I am leaving behind family...a city I have lived in since age of 3 and all the people and memories that go with that...I am not only leaving behind this house but this incredible wall unit/desk dh just built for me, our gorgeous kitchen table/island, the bathroom and kitchen remodels, the cute little shed out back. boo hoo
I was just telling dh I sooooo appreciate all these things he built for me and that I will thoroughly miss them. I think after the inspection report, he needed confirmation he had done something right around here. I wanted him to know that he did and I will really, really miss it all. That made him feel better.
This is our last week in our home. The movers come next Mon. I have to make phone calls to close out accounts for many of the bills. (I am finding it difficult to get going on that and to decide on the date of ending services.) Then saying goodbye to this area and people and family and moving halfway across country. I have been in Texas since I was 3! I am soooo thankful for the events that precipated this move and for every provision since, like the sale of our house. But alas, the feelings are right there.
BTW I have been purging big time. It has been freeing to finally get rid of stuff we weren't using! Just start with the easy stuff. Maybe it will become addictive! I have been planning to blog about this, when I could find the heart/strength to do so. That will be entirely aimed at my experiences and nothing else.
I will pray for everything y'all are going through. That will be easy for me to remember to do when my heart feels a wee bit torn.
Blessings,
Laurie
My heart hurts for you. I have nothing uplifting to say, and I feel like crying. (((Pam)))
I'd say come over here, but I don't think cost of living is less here. Nor is the job situation any better. Personally I think all of us should move up to Alaska and have our own Christian homeschool commune. But I guess that would sort of be a form of hiding the little light under a bushel wouldn't it? Will continue to pray for the LORD's direction for you. Blessings.
After living through an experience similar to yours I can sympathize with the struggle, internal and external. It isn't easy but if the Lord wants you there blessings will come as a result of your obedience.
On the practical side of purging, check out www.flylady.net She has practical yet simple instructions for doing just what you are talking about (purging for a move). It helped me.
Darla
www.homeschoolblogger.com/dgallew
Your willingness itself speaks volumes. I'm praying this morning for great peace at whatever the outcome ... let the adventure begin!
Laura - whose move is still up in the air due to the housing market!
I most definitely understand your desire to not move, especially with so much history in your house. However, I'd love to have you in Houston. :-)
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