Thursday, October 23, 2008

"The" Talk, and.....it's always the little things!

Two days ago my hubby and oldest son went on a date to our bedroom, closed the door, and had the birds and the bees talk. He is 9, so we were a little on the late side. He is our quietest child, extremely thoughtful and has wonderful ideas, but just not very talkative. My husband said it went well, and they got off on a tangent about DNA (which son G found fascinating) and another tangent about abortion (which G found absolutely horrifying and incomprehensible).

I had this talk with our daughter a few years ago and it was a very special time with just she and I. Not awkward at all. I have found that, whatever the topic is, if I present the information in a factual, matter of fact way, my children tend to receive it that way. Then later we can add layers of meaning and attach value to the information. For instance, after talking about the mechanics of how babies are made, we can talk about God's design for families and how this intimate relationship is meant to be shared by a husband and wife only. How God's plan is perfect, and babies are best served by having both a mom and a dad who are committed to each other and to them!

I was, of course, intensely interested in how this talk would go with son G. But I was, rightly so, left out of the equation. This was a father-son thing. I knew it would not be appropriate to ask G about it later. Not because he and I shouldn't or can't discuss things like this, but because that specific talk was an experience he had shared with his dad and I needed to leave it in their man's world. It was the first time I've had *this* kind of opportunity to let go of my boy, and it was hard. But good. This type of separation from me, as he grows into a man, will become more and more frequent, and I have to remind myself that this is what I WANT for him. I want him to be a man. God's man. An independent, responsible man. Not a boy attached to his mama. Even while I practice letting go of my young men, I am grateful that I have younger boys who still like to cuddle with me and for whom a kiss from mama will make anything better!

After "the talk", my hubby and G went to the hardware store and bought......a new toilet seat!!!!! They did this primarily to bless me, and I was SO HAPPY! Our downstairs toilet seat broke off it's hinges about a month ago, and since then the girls in the family have had to sit down very gingerly so as not to cause it to slide off (it happened once I'm sorry to say). They worked together to take off the old rusted hinges and put the new seat on. Son G even used his very own tool! A new toilet seat is a little thing, but it meant the world to me. And I could tell by the look on G's face that the new information he had, and the working with daddy on a fix-it project had both made him feel a little more like a man.



Lord, thank you so much for all the little men you've given me to raise. Help me to hold them with an open hand, mindful that I am their steward for a short time. Help me to not mother/smother them, but mother them with love and discernment. Please help all 4 of my boys to be men who love you deeply and have a firm grasp and love for your Word. Thank you for my husband who fathers them so well. And thank you for being our perfect Heavenly Father. I love you.

2 comments:

5littlewomen said...

How wonderful! I can't relate real well to the having sons to raise but I am thankful to the godly mothers that are striving to raise their sons to be godly men and husbands. I agree with just presenting the facts without much hoopla. That is the basic way it happens around here. That toilet seat looks like the one we have in our bathroom. Glad it got fixed for you.

lahbluebonnet said...

My kids had the official talk with me about 6 years ago. It was earlier than I would have like but it was due to extenuating circumstances.
Blessings,
Laurie