Our precious, wonderful, spirited, and oh so cute two year old son has been developing a very bad habit (just one you say??). He will sit in his high chair throughout an entire meal without taking a single bite. Sometimes 1 or 2 bites, but never more. Breakfast is the exception, he eats a little faster for breakfast, and if I let him sit there long enough he will eat his whole bowl of cereal. But we have other things to do, you know? And even if we didn't, I don't want him to develop the habit of making others wait on him. So I have been praying and thinking about this.
On Saturday I brought the timer to the table. I set it for 20 minutes, at lunch time, and also set a cookie on the table, out of his reach (his reach is one of the reasons he is still in a high chair). I explained to him that if he finished his whole lunch by the time the timer went ding, he could have the cookie. If not, I would put the cookie away. Well, what a way to light a fire under him! He was extremely motivated to eat, and he watched that timer like a hawk. We have withheld dessert before for not eating his food, but the addition of the timer seems to make a huge difference. At least so far.
I am not a "clean your whole plate" kind of mom. Our rule for A is that he had to have at least one bite of everything on his plate. One bite alone has caused so much stress at meal times. Especially on nights when we have to go somewhere after dinner, like Wednesdays. I am so grateful that A gets a snack in his Tiny Tots program, because sometimes he arrives there with no dinner in his tummy! The conventional wisdom of course, is that when a child is hungry enough they will eat. I am no longer sure that this is true. Apparently strong willed children would rather go hungry than give in??
My hopes have risen the last two days with the success we've had with the timer. Am I a bad mom for bribing him with a cookie?
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6 comments:
No way, you're not a bad mom! You are a smart mom!
Way to go oh so intelligent one! =) You laid out some great thinking with this, especially with having begun with prayer! Your motives are for good and you have tried other methods first. My ds was born a preemie and started gaining weight, then totally fell off the growth chart at 9 months. Many textures of foods bothered him and eating was not important as this happy lovable guy pursued life with abandon and little weight! (The cookie would not have inspired him.) Then when he did eat, he was up to 10 asthma meds which made him sleepy and he fell asleep at the highchair. He just turned 12 and in the last 2 years, he has discovered something new...food! He still doesn't weigh a lot, but he's finally on the growth chart! Hang in there!
Blessings,
Laurie
Cookies? Did someone say Cookies??? I love cookies. Can I have a cookie? ;o) I think you're a great mom!! Thanks for stopping by my blog today too! Miss you at the Library. I don't get to SL very often anymore.
Laurie, thanks for the encouragement! So glad to know your ds has discovered food!! Our 2 year old was diagnosed as "failure to thrive" as a 5 month old (which cut me to the quick, but that's another story) so I think I have been more lenient with him (since then) than I was with the others. I have been worried at times about him not getting enough nutrition. But he's clearly healthy and thriving now, he's just really, really stubborn!!
Shellbelle7: Thanks for stopping by my blog! I miss you (and everyone) at the library too. I need to pop back in there. I only make it to SL for a couple minutes once or twice a week, so I'm hardly there anymore either. Now that we are firmly in a routine with TOG there is less reason to go there, but there are some relationships there that I deeply appreciate. And yes, I love cookies too. Way too much.
When ds fell off the weight chart, he was diagnosed FTT too. That was at 9 months and I had to quit nursing cold turkey and make "beefed up" high calorie formula for him. It turned out to be a never ending nightmare. We were admitted to the hospital on his first birthday for swallow study and an endless list of testing, only to discover SI issues. Then the RAD hit. But I used to ask the doc how could he possibly be FTT when he's as active as he is? (He had to agree.) He certainly didn't look FTT, nor does your son in the pictures. But I know that medically speaking, they need to cover the bases. Yes, I used to let ds sit at the table forever.....but then what was the point because he wouldn't eat and we weren't getting anything done. Actually he ate more off the floor than he did on the table. I will not put the details of that here! Hang in there. I probably did the cookie thing for a while, but like I said, cookies weren't always a big deal to my ds. But the doc and OT were always game for most anything I could come up with! Hang in there! Along with following doc's recommendations, doing your best, and praying...what else can one do? We tried SI activities, hemisync music.....the list goes on! I'll be praying for God to clue you in to anymore necessary ingenious ideas!
Blessings,
Laurie
Oh yes. Bribery definitely has its place:)
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